Kids Copy Parents Grandparents

"I’ll be late today baby.”

“Fine mom, should I start dinner when I get home?” 

The young shopper’s phone speaker was on. I overheard it when I was pushing coat hangers from left to right at Marshall's, looking for bargains as usual. Kids copy what is done at home.They copy parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles. That is how they are brought up or ‘raised’ as African Americans put it.

Girls in Nigeria bend their knees to greet elders. Yoruba boys put hands on the ground to receive elders’ blessings. In South Africa, kids receive food and gifts with two hands because they grew up seeing that. That is why I don’t understand how grabbing is socially accepted. It took me a while to get used to ‘grab and go’, as take-out food is called in Canada and the U.S.

Kids also copy social norms. Before cellphones, radio stations had news, religious and mainstream music. Because kids are copy cats, they danced to the music when they saw parents dancing. Sometimes they fell on their bums. No problem. They scrambled up and danced again, bringing joy to the home.

Because kids are copy cats, they bring a dust pan when they see someone sweeping. They try to tie garbage bags. They make a mess using hashi/otemoto, as chopsticks are called in Japan, but they figure it out and become experts like adults around them.

That was before cellphones. Kids born in the digital age don’t have much to copy because mum and dad are glued to phones and computers, busy copying what is online. They cannot dance to music because the radio is not on. Parents listen to music through headphones, which are designed to shut out the world, including kids.

Eye contact is lost which means there is no communication. That hurts kids the most because they crave for validation after doing little things, that are part of the growing up journey.

‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’

Fear is born.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

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