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Patience in Zulu

Patience.I-si-ne-ke.

There is no patience in the world but please, don’t blame the internet for its posts and videos as many as sand particles on the seashore. Africa has customs about naming children.Themba, which means hope, is a popular boy’s or girl’s name but I have never come across kids called i-si-ne-ke.

There is a triangle of convenience that makes us impatient with cooking, waiting for the pot to boil or chicken in the oven.The triangle is buying pre-packaged food from the food mart, drop it in the microwave, eat and throw the container in the black plastic garbage bag.Who cares about the environment? Patience is i-si-ne-ke in Zulu. I think the noun is a sister to a snail, which is called u-mne-ke.You know that the snail takes its time, but it reaches its destination, the end of the forest. We don’t appreciate Canada Post, Atlanta USPS and other postal workers anymore because they deliver ‘snail mail.’Fast mail is in your phone or computer. I-si-ne-ke.You say the first part like …
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Pour in Zulu

Thela is to pour in Zulu.You pour water in a basin or down the drain, pour gas in the car or pour milk in your whole wheat porridge.
You don’t help the situation when you say negative things when couples or families are fighting.A calming influence is needed, someone who can pour water in the fire, not fan the flames. When you hire a car in South Africa, you’ll stop at a gas station.The gas attendant, called a petrol attendant will ask you, Si-the-la ma-li-ni?How much do we pour in the gas tank?This will most likely happen if you black because they won’t know that you are African American or a black person from other parts of the world.They see someone who looks like them.
The-la.The first part of the verb is pronounced like tell and the second part like lark.

ZULU ENGLISH The-la u-bi-si. Pour milk/Add milk. The-la a-ma-nzi.Ngi-ge-ze i-nga-ne. Pour water so that I can give the child a bath. The-la-ni a-manzi, u-ci-she u-mli-lo. Pour water to extinguish the fire. Ngi-zo-ni the-le-la u-lemonade. I’…

Preach in Zulu

To preach is shu-ma-ye-la in Zulu.Prophets preach, some are genuine, others are con artists like the Queen of England. The British brought two things to Africa, India, Australia, New Zealand and North America: the gun and false prophets.

The two were designed to steal the land from indigenous people.They took the land through the barrel of the gun and supplemented the theft with false Christian bishops and churches that told indigenous people to forget their religion and take the Jesus Christ route. Anybody living in the United Kingdom will tell you that the British are the most un-Christian people in the world.They don’t attend church.If they do, it’s for 30 minutes and then detour to the pub.

The Queen of England is yet to apologise for lying to Africans, Indians, the Irish and indigenous people of Canada and the U.S. She told them to close their eyes to pray only to open them and find that the British had erected fences and instituted something called title deeds. Shu-ma-ye-la.You pro…

Testify in Zulu

Fa-ka-za, give evidence or proof.

U-bu-fa-ka-zi is proof in Zulu, but I’m in a quandary.Is giving proof and testifying in court one and the same thing?Testifying can be anywhere, not just in court.I suppose testifying is about the truth of the matter. Old Hollywood movies liked the story idea of the Mafia killing a potential witness, which sometimes led to a witness protection programme.Such movies were so prolific, ordinary Italians had to fend off the stigma that they were all Mafia.Whether the Mafia was for real, or just Hollywood’s imagination, we would never know.

Fa-ka-za.The first syllable is pronounced like famine, the second like kamikaze and the last one like Zagreb.
ZULU ENGLISH Fakazile. A girl’s name, the one who testified, or gave proof.It depends on the circumstances of her birth.Maybe the father said the baby was not his, and guess what, the little girl is his spitting image, like Malia Obama and her dad, Barack Obama. Fakaza. A boy’s name meaning testify or give proof. Fa…

Come Here In Zulu

Come in Zulu is i-za or wo-za.The root of the verb is za, as in Zanzibar.

·When addressing one person you say i-za or wo-za.
·When addressing two or more, you say i-za-ni or wo-za-ni.
Remember, the -ni at the end of a verb means many people. i-za.You pronounce the first part like e-mail, the second part like Zagreb.

wo-za-ni.You pronounce the first part like war, the second part like Zagreb, the last part like kneel. Calling someone has its own protocol. Managers call people to their offices.There is no recorded case where the worker says to the manager, ‘can I see you in my cubicle?’In Africa, parents call children.Kids don’t yell Mummy and demand this and that.

Going somewhere with people who don’t keep time can drive you up the wall. ‘I’m coming. I’m coming.’ That’s their favourite line.
ZULU ENGLISH Themba, wo-za la. Themba, come here. Thobile, wo-za la. Thobile, come here. I-za. Si-ha-mbe. Come, let’s go. Wo-za. Si-ha-mbe. Come, let’s go. Lancelot, Maria, Paulos, wo-za-ni. Lancelot, Maria, Paulo…

Haircut in Zulu

Need a haircut? A haircut is gu-nda in Zulu.It also applies to cutting grass with a lawn mower.

The Queen of England, through her colonial administration forced all African school children in South Africa to cut their hair to prevent lice, but white kids in white schools had long hair they tied with ribbons.Old apartheid photos are quite a revelation.

Spike Lee’s first film was Joe’s Bed-Stuy Barbershop: We Cut Heads.A brilliant student film, which was followed by more awesome ones.In the olden days in Africa, family members shaved their heads when someone died. There are certain faiths in India that forbid cutting hair. Gu-nda.You say the first part like good, the second like Andalusia in Spain.

ZULU ENGLISH Ngi-yo-gunda. I’m going for a haircut. Ngi-zo-gunda ku-sa-sa. I’ll have a haircut tomorrow. Ha-mba u-yo-gunda. Go and have a haircut. Guido, ha-mba u-yo-gu-nda. Guido, go and get a haircut. Jacques, ha-mba u-yo-gu-nda. Jacques, go and get a haircut. U-ba-ba u-gu-nda u-Leo. Father is giving Leo a …

Love After Death

Meghan Markle, or the Duchess of Sussex, as Buckingham Palace calls her is very fortunate.Her marriage to Prince Harry put on show people who believe that they are family members and want her to acknowledge them one way or the other.

She is fortunate because she is still alive and can decide how she wants to relate to them.Dead people don’t have a choice, especially if they left huge sums of money or fame that can translate to riches.They cannot come back from the grave and put a stop to claims from family members who suddenly love them so much they sue someone for allegedly causing their death. Wealth enables famous people to live a particular lifestyle.It might be toxic, like living on drugs.When they are enjoying themselves, the world never hears about concerned family members that caution them about potential dangers of the chosen lifestyle.

Maybe they did, behind closed family doors and the dead person said, ‘It’s my life.’Well and good.More reason why family members should not surf…