Nonqaba said ...

Business class on the plane? No. Let’s call it first class because airlines have no proof that passengers are travelling on business. Maybe the destination is gigabyte fun masked as business, at the company’s expense. Worse still, the business might be political, travelling to overthrow an unsuspecting government. I once had a taste of flying first class.  To tell the truth, I was upgraded from economy.  I don’t know how that works but I can’t describe my joy.   I was going back home after a disastrous business trip in Birmingham, U.K.  The air stewardess showed me a seat at the front of the plane.  I did a double take on the ticket and yes indeed, the seat number was in first class. I put my carry-on  luggage in the overhead bin and organised myself.  I was fastening the seat belt when glasses of champagne and orange juice materialized before me. The juice was definitely freshly squeezed because of the pulp.  I’m a great pulp fan.  I took a sip and looked at the economy neighbours tro

Plain yoghurt and whole wheat bread. "What did you do yesterday?" "Eeeh! Let me check my phone." I was toying with the idea of asking you about yesterday, but nicked it because you’ll scroll down your phone to show me a video, a selfie or a tweet.  Let’s ask five year-old boys and girls instead. Their mind does not have a single particle of dust or purple dye. Ours is gone. Closed for business permanently. It’s dormant, like that bank account we didn’t close when we moved to Nunavut Canada. Our mind is hollow, irreparable, milk gone bad. It has a lot of unidentified objects like the kitchen thrash can. It is cracked like the windscreen we have not replaced because insurance expired and we didn’t renew it. It is funky, like the laundry basket used by four adults. It is full of broken glass hiding among golden pebbles on the beach. We cannot remember yesterday because it requires time to recall, to remember and we don’t have it. We have too much to munch, especially t

Alina Habba, one of Donald Trump's trusted lawyers. Donald Trump’s lawyers will make sure, his criminal cases do not see the light of day before November 2024, but he understands the English language. Delay does not translate into delete, destroy, decompose, deactivate or debunk. His cases will be waiting for him after the presidential election. The justice system has loopholes, but they were designed to make justice thoroughly fair for everyone affected. Unfortunately, it is abused  and you need money to loop yourself out of the wheels of justice. Donald Trump has mega-millions for that but none to pay the State of New York $464 million plus the daily interest. He won’t be in a courtroom before the presidential election because the U.S. Supreme Court, has his back. How do you know? Because of his confidence about it. He’s very cocky as if he has a secret why, the Supreme Court is in his corner. Delay is not delete, no matter what he tells himself. He continues to put rust on the w

We build walls to separate us from people we live with, but open up to strangers on the internet.  They, in turn use the information to rob us, in more ways than one.  Common sense went for a walk and never returned.   The Zulu word for wall, will be easy to pronounce in English. A wall is  u-do-nga  in Zulu. You say the first part like the name  Umar , the second like door and the last like linger. “How was your date last night?” “I was stood up.”   Ouch! When someone doesn’t show up, we say she made me hold up the wall  ‘bambisa udonga. ’ Friends and family hurt us. That’s why we build a wall to protect ourselves from further deceit and hate. Beyonce recorded a song  Halo , about walls we built. We might not like the dark side of the internet, but it never fails to amaze. We don’t talk to friends and family about how they hurt us, but easily open up to anonymous people online. History has lots of walls. The Great Wall of China, the Berlin Wall, Wall of Jericho and Trump’s Wall. The U

As light as a feather, says the English proverb. Something light or easy is lu-la in Zulu. You say the first part like looming and the second like light. Now remember, the Ku  means it , pointing or talking about something. It could be the rain and other things we cannot touch, like joy or sadness. It’s easy to destroy a country than to build it.  Ku-lula. It’s easy to fly a plane without training. Ku-lula. It’s easy being the U.S. President. Ku-lula. It’s easy to over-turn the results of an election. Ku-lula.   It’s easy to have savings with 6 kids. Ku-lula. It’s easy to walk from Toronto to L.A. Ku-lula. It’s eay to get a young girl for $100 online.  Ku-lula. Quick money. It’s easy to sell drugs to young girls, make them prisoners of the substance then record them for the gaming industry, which is so powerful governments pretend it doesn’t exist. Ku-lula . It’s easy because drug dealers protect their daughters behind high walls and body guards. Women themselves make it easy to be use

Capitol Building, before Trump's supporters invaded it on 6 January, 2021, to stop transfer of power to Joe Biden.  Photo Credit: online pic. There are Americans who have never been to the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. the same as French citizens who have never been up the Tour Eiffel in Paris. Why not? Money. The Tour Eiffel  is on every tourist’s things-to-do when they are in Paris. How about ordinary Parisienne , can they afford it? There are millions of poor people in France. The Capitol Building is a bigger challenge for Americans because they live in 50 states. You are very far from it, if you live in Iowa, Colorado or Mississippi. However, the Capitol is a government building so, I assume you don’t pay to get in. I’ve never been there before, but it looks like it has expansive grounds, where kids can run around and families can sit down and have a light lunch. “Which Capitol Building are you talking about, before or after?” Before, obviously. I would imagine security q

Kenya Moore, languidly beautiful. I wonder why her parents named her after a country. “What’s your name and what does it mean?” “I know Miss, I know.” “Put down your hand Precious. That’s your homework for next Friday.” The teacher must give the class a week so that they can ask their parents. Kids can also stand before the family, and do a little presentation. Call it a try-out session, so that they are confident when they do it in class. I wish I was a speck of dust that Friday to hear the different stories about names from different parts of the world. Most kids south of the Equator will answer to David, John, Peter, Paul, Abraham and Mary because of the bible. Because the British brought Christianity to ‘civilize’ the natives, kids will also have royal family names like James, Henry, William, Charles, Edward, Anne or Victoria. But, the aim of the homework is not colonial names. It is to find out how kids are named in religious societies, certain cultures and family tradition. By fa

Baby is asleep (ingane i-lele). If only I knew more languages, I’ll learn more, understand more, appreciate more and be confident more. Confident more, because I won’t be insecure when people speak their languages on the bus, grocery store or on the pavement. This blog has Zulu lessons on and off, because I can only use words I can explain in English, like Lulu, a girl’s name. My visitors will fracture their jaw if I teach them words like umgqomo (a barrel).  Ha! Ha! That’s why I have good news today. I have something my visitors can pronounce. La-la means sleep. You say it like lass. Le-le means sleeping/asleep. You say it like lamb. Babies. You know they want to sleep when they rub the eyes with fake fists. Where’s the baby? She is asleep. ZULU ENGLISH Ingane ifuna uku- lala . The baby wants to sleep. Ingane i lele . The baby is sleeping. Timothy, lala u-10 p.m. Timothy, go to sleep, it’s 10 p.m. Timothy u- lele . Timothy, is sleeping. U-Pedro u- lala no-Marie. Pedro sleeps with Mari

Spring. Hmmm! All that rain but how many umbrellas have I lost in my half a life? I love the rain on the roof, river, in between branches and on the umbrella. I love spring rain but, and this is a big but, provided there’s no wind. It’s not funny seeing folks going round and round in circles trying to tame umbrellas that have been uploaded by the wind. An umbrella once made a fool of me and flew off my hand. I had two options, try and chase it or ignore it. I took the latter and let it hop on the pavement like a kangaroo. I did not know it. We’ve never met. I love rain. That is why I used to make umbrellas a fashion accessory, buy fancy ones with wooden handles and the cloth, the colour of my dresses. The problem was that I never had them for long because I forgot them somewhere, but where? The subway? Taxis? Buses? Restaurants? Shops? Post Office? I don’t remember finding an umbrella I lost. I would mourn it for a week or two then go back to that fancy store and buy another one with a

America, the 'melting pot?' Where will you stay when you get there (not with family, can be tumultuous), can you work legally and where? Foreigners who want to live permanently in America will go to any length to get the green card. Fake marriages are the most popular even though the government, through its Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is aware of it. It has its own tricks of finding out whether the ‘husband and wife’ living in the same house or apartment are really married. Hollywood has made many movies about it. I did not understand the desire to live in the U.S. then and do not understand it now. I couldn’t wait to hop on a plane back to Lesotho after graduation from Columbia’s J. School, even though I learned so much from New York NY, the state and the city. It is the ideal place to understand the world, because the world lives there and I don’t mean the United Nations building. Which brings me to the green card. I’ve never seen it but it is green I suppose. How d

I can see your overloaded kitchen sink from here. I can also feel the funk from the overflowing laundry basket. That’s not possible. Anything is possible with Artificial Intelligence (AI). Seriously though. The only way to take the sting out of housework is to regard it as time to reflect on our lives.   We will not include laundry because it is a chore.  We must do it because we run out of things to wear whether rich or poor.  Sweeping, mopping or using the vacuum entails moving chairs and tables.  That exercise gives us time to do some mental banking, such as moving money from a healthy account to an under-performing one, time to think about taking a pair of scissors and cutting up some credit cards, time to think about putting on the market the apartment you are renting out before the municipality builds a new sewage plant behind the apartment building, and time to think about using vacation time, by going on vacation. Housework involves discarding things, like that old towel that f

A scene from the film. It’s time to re-visit the film Why Did I Get Married , produced and directed by Tyler Perry. Great cinematography. Love the scene where the guys are chopping wood. Why must we watch it? Because there’s one thing missing. Money. ‘ Money on my mind’  is a line in a song by a popular Nigerian musician, and that’s all I see on the internet. Money. Money for the surprise engagement proposal and the diamond ‘rock’ on her finger, the amazing wedding dress, wedding gifts for all 200 guests, best men and bridesmaids choreography to usher in the couple and the cameras. Oh! The cameras, so that the world can label it the best wedding, ever. Then comes the divorce and money rears its ugly head again. Hopefully, caterers and all companies that provided service were paid before the divorce. I remember one interview some years ago. This man said women want to get married but they don’t like men, but they cannot get married without them. I laughed because I thought it was ridicu

Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle. He adores her.  That's why it's second nature for him to reach out for her hand.  It's a movie. Just kidding.  Public display of affection (PDA) is a misnomer. Private display of affection is the correct reference because of its origin, a space called home, or lovers’ grotto where two people relate in a certain way. The public tends to witness it because at some stage, hunger pangs force them to visit the food mart or leave home to catch some theatre at the London’s West End, Off-Broadway in New York or The Market Theatre in Johannesburg. What is mistakenly called PDA is the luxury of being adored, indoors . We won’t say being loved because love is a leaking Hollywood water carrier buttressed by candlelit dinners, red roses, Valentine’s Day and a car for her birthday.  This is now a headache and financial burden in Africa as kids and lovers demand birthday parties and expensive gifts, an influence of local sitcoms, Nigerian and Holly

During Easter weekend, the biblical cross rises high, as Christians march to church, to observe what Religious Studies teachers told us. A man called Jesus died and resurrected. What is suprising is that, the cross is a foreign symbol in Africa, therefore, it should have an ‘Africanized’ word, like motor car, which Africans call imoto . If it is not indigenous to languages such as Zulu, Xhosa, Sesotho or Venda, it is foreign and is given a local name. This is how we ‘Africanized’ foreign words. Portuguese: ama-Putukezi Germans:  ama-Jalimane English: ama-Ngisi Jews: ama-Juda The cross, the biblical cross has a Zulu name: isiphambano . Pure Zulu word. Africans did not call it something like kho-rosi . They called it isiphambano because - phambana , the Zulu word means opposite directions. We meet on the road, I’m from the market, but you are just going there. - phambana means different opinion, - phambana means Gail visiting Khosi, and Khosi’s mother says: “ Ni-phambene no Khosi ,” whic

You love your car more than your kids, right? Just kidding. Once upon a time, it was called a motor car. It is a foreign word in countries that were occupied by the British. Locals ‘Africanized’ the word motor car. i-moto : South Africa Moto : Nigeria The British also brought Jesus Christ and the Resurrection to its colonies. That’s why there are a million and one buildings with a cross on top of the roof. If you happen to be on the beach on any day of the week in South Africa, you’ll see a man pushing someone down into the waves. It’s not attempted murder. He is baptising her, because they belong to the Zionist Church - amaZayoni  in Zulu. ‘Her’ because sadly, the church in Africa is full of women, but most pastors are men. Preachers by the sea, usually wear white robes with long green or blue crosses. Fast forward to years later when I went to college in New York. I visited a famous church in Harlem, and they had a built-in tub with water. I was lucky because the pastor had a baptism

Utah Senator Mitt Romney. Below is an old post 18 December 2023 , about free men, free from Donald Trump’s grip. Men like Senator Mitt Romney. 2024 U.S. presidential election. Finding duty-free voters will be Mitt Romney’s biggest challenge, should he decide to run in 2024. He ran in 2012 but lost to the 44 th  U.S. President Barack Obama. Duty-free? Yes, voters who are not duty bound to the president who lost the election in 2020. It will be an uphill battle because the seeds Trump planted found warm soil for some Republicans as we witnessed the 6 January desecration of Congress. Like all parties, the GOP is a garden center with a variety of seedlings. It will be hard for Romney to find duty-free Republicans because the previous president seems to have a grip on all kinds of seedlings, working class and senate billionaires who don’t rely on him financially. What will make Romney’s weeding difficult is that duty-free party faithful keep a low profile. They donate housekeeping money but

Order pizza, clean the fridge, call long distance anything, but  whatever you do,  don't respond to an email when you're still mad. What? It’s one of those unbelievable emails. If you are on your laptop, you push your face in, to check if what you are reading, is what you are reading. If you are on your phone, you zoom out the message. Next response is natural, but wrong. You start pounding those keys, then caution taps you on the shoulder. It is suicidal to respond when you are angry, no matter the content: that man telling you he wants a divorce, the bank saying hackers have cleaned out your account, the boss telling you have been replaced by Artificial Intelligence, Ronna McDaniel or both, your son telling you he totaled the car and the municipality telling everyone in your gated community that the park behind the complex is going to be a prison for young offenders. I should know. Something precious to me disappeared from the screen. Ah! Ah! Where did it go? I did some troub

Donald Trump seems to be the 'priority client,' squeezing most human, time and financial resources. You have a grocery budget, based on how many people you live with. That’s why ‘hospitality’ doesn’t exist in Europe and North America. It’s something students from Africa and other parts of the world don’t understand. You call before you visit someone, because there is no extra food, for an extra mouth. Which brings us to the court system. Every government department has a budget based on their core function or what they produce. Let’s say orange juice. The money is to buy oranges, service machines that extract the juice, hire workers, package the product and ship it to customers. The budget is not static. If people drink less orange juice, the department will buy less oranges, but certain jobs will be lost. The marketing section will get more money to pump up advertising that orange juice is good for you. But what, if there is an unprecedented demand for orange juice? The budget

Sign Language unlocks another world. Photo Credit: Online pic. Deaf and dumb, a lie we heard so often we ended up believing it. My attempt at learning sign language has stripped away all the stereotypical layers and left me with only one conclusion.  I’m the dumb one.  I have been conditioned that English, my second language is ‘ all I need to get by ’ to quote a classic song written by the African American couple Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson.  I also don’t need another language, let alone sign language. My conditioning looks at life in squares with sharp edges and not circles like the sun and the moon.  That is why I carve out my body parts like a butcher skinning an animal.   I use the mouth for eating or producing sounds in local and foreign languages.  The eyes are for seeing people and images.  Arms are for picking up computer bags and babies.  The face is for cosmetics and smiling.  I say the face because the mouth does not have the monopoly of smiling.  It is a rainbow m

Dulce Sloan American stand-up comedian. We are loved. We were loved, once. We’ll continue to be loved and appreciated. Because of the internet, we ourselves, opened the drapes/curtains, to let the world see what’s happening inside the four walls. What was once a home, is now an open office plan. Therefore, I cannot blame the audience from the other side of the world to think we are not loved. It will be a tragedy to conclude that the beautiful gift that is our men, does not love us. We are the millions of women that do not walk the red carpet but we are loved. We are not tenants of Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, YouTube and other social media, but we are loved. We shun public places like restaurants because we cannot afford them, and we are better cooks. We also don’t believe in show-and-tell. We prefer to touch, feel and bask in no-reason smiles. You haven’t lived if you’ve never received them. Two of us in love is a beautiful thing to see. Has anyone ever stopped the two of you on the