Nonqaba said ...

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree roughly means some kids behave like their parents. It’s not complimentary. It usually means bad behaviour. The proverb is about similarity, which doesn’t exist in nature. An apple tree produces many apples but they don’t look the same, even apples that get tired and drop on the ground to rot. We have identical twins but their parents can tell them apart. There are no identical clouds. A corn stalk does not produce identical corn-on-the-cob. That is nature, man made things are identical. It’s called quality control. We complain if a packet of spaghetti looks smaller than the one sitting next to it on the shelf. Unlike you, store managers have a life, so they give you a discount. An apple tree does not produce apples with the same colour, size and physical attributes. Some have scars, others spots. Which brings us to human beings and the 2022 U.S. Midterm election in particular.   People who control what we think predicted a ‘red wave’ that will l

Canada has banned Tik Tok, the Chinese app on government laptops and cellphones. We expected it. Canada is a geographical entity, but for all intents and purposes, belongs to the U.S. politically. We cannot blame Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s half/half government for that bondage. It has been in Canadian politics before he got here. Now let’s hit the back button for the U.S. connection. In December last year, the Senate passed the No Tik Tok On Government Devices Act.   The reason was potential espionage. China could use Tik Tok to spy on the U.S. Supporters understood, and approved the ban, especially because Beijing is trying to upstage America in electronics and manufacturing. It’s not a trial. It does. Look at the clothes on your body. Made in China. Nothing personal. It used to be MADE IN BRITAIN, with free resources from enslaved colonies. Canada, a former British colony has all the resources. It doesn’t have to depend on the U.S. but it does because of the land border. That is

Chris Boucher, a Toronto Raptors player. Basketball. All roads lead to NBA play-offs, so is it the right time to fire coaches? That is what Atlanta Hawks did. They fired Head Coach Nate McMillan. Sports commentators are still dunking each other about that. Other teams do not have the Hawks’ privilege. They have coaches who don’t like the general manager and players.  We easily label some players as bad boys, but never coaches, who can be so bad that they would intentionally lose championships for personal agendas. Ridiculous you say. All coaches want the Larry O’Brien Trophy and subsequent bling bling. Which is? Championship rings. A coach that has tasted that glory is more dangerous because that itch has been satisfied. We saw that in 2020 in the ‘bubble’ where some coaches were in such a hurry to go back to their families and global commitments, they intentionally set players to fail. Other coaches had to rush back to launch their books, so the championship could wait for another yea

I never wanted to be famous. Why not? Security logistics. The rich, royal and famous must think security, before they admit invitations to step out of the house. Well! Not only invitations because they must also attend a family funeral or go to the store to pick up some shampoo or bread. Oops! They don’t shop. They pay somebody to do life’s mundane tasks. No, they are not conceited. It’s a security precaution. The selfie has made the world more dangerous. They might be killed by a ‘fan’ carrying an unlicensed gun-phone. But really, fame has its disadvantages. Can you imagine being circled by paid strangers to take the bullet for you in case strangers who love your movies want to bullet you to death? Your cousin cannot call you out of the blue and suggest taking out the bicycles since it’s such a sunny day. Security must be informed, so it can vet the cousin. Is she a cousin cousin or a cousin who has always hated you like Samantha Markle, Meghan Markle’s half sister? Security also has

I know you don’t have a white bath robe. It’s only found in the movies. Do ordinary people have them? It’s not possible because they sleep in their best friends, old T-shirts. It would look odd to wake up and wrap that white robe over a tattered, but comfortable T. Whites robes are only in the movies because they’ll be a headache to wash. They are snowy white which means you can’t throw them in the washing machine together with towels, sheets, gym clothes and shorts of many colours. It’s worse if you are renting somewhere and pay to do laundry. That white robe demands solitary confinement, rolling about the washer on its own, same with dryer. Before I forget, people who write novels always include white robes, not blue, burgundy, black or grey. Why? I think it’s because of movies. They hope Hollywood producers might adapt their novels into movies. That was before YouTube. You can make your own movies now. I think hotels are largely responsible for white robes in movies. Rooms in a 5-st

  1.  Scary is -thu-sa  in Zulu. You say the first part like tools and the second like some. 2.  When you are scared, t hu-ki-le . You say the first part like tools, the second like Kilimanjaro and the last part like leg. The internet is scary because it is mostly faceless, lawless and country-less. The dark ‘net’ is even worse. Hold it. What might be scary to you, is normal to me. Point taken. It depends on things like culture, religion, age and domicilium  which means where you live, in Latin. Example. Some new immigrants are shocked out of their skin during their first summer, when they see Dutch, Canadian and American women walking around in their denim shorts. Rihanna is another example. After her Super Bowl presentation, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) received more than 100 complaints about her dancing, called it indecent. Young people laughed. What she did has been standard in the music business, for a long time.. Granted, being scared is subjective, but the interne

Prince Charles turned Charles 111 will be crowned king 6 May. He has a huge inheritance, mainly land from countries nature assigned to black and brown races, but stolen by the Royal Navy and Royal Air Force. English explorers and the Jesus industry could not speak African languages so they banned them. In boarding schools, prefects gave us a negative mark when they caught us  'speaking vernacular.' That's why some people in Africa still have the impression that English is a master language.  He is quite cultured.   He’s well educated .  He    speaks English so well.   He can say such words without bruising his tongue. 1.  Gloucestershire 2.  Straffordshire 3.  Worcestershire 4.  Necessary 5.  Tchaikovsky In Africa, being well-educated meant you have erased all ‘primitive’ traces, embodied in your language and culture and embraced the ways of the Queen of England. I am fortunate because we grew up in Zulu, saw the world in Zulu, understood why the sky is called izulu and why

Know your backpack. It has hidden caves here and there. Floods in Germany in 2021, now Santa Barbara California and British Columbia Canada, nature on the rampage. We need rain because we grow food but we cannot ration it and say: Stop, it’s enough . Your car has a spare wheel. Do you have a bag packed for emergencies? Emergency Backpacks Evacuation orders. Floods are coming your way, what would you take with you? Complete chaos, because we don’t know what to pack. That’s why we need emergency backpacks. All adults must know where the home backpack is.  1.  Your I.D. is always with you because it is needed at the bank, government offices etc. However important documents like your marriage certificate, kids’ birth certificates, passports and title deeds are stored somewhere in a small bag at home. You can replace all these if they are lost but it takes time, so grab it when you flee from the floods. 2.  Medication. Special medication for some members of the family also goes into the eme

Twitter, massive as it is, still wants more butts to warm the seats. That’s why Twitter Business has all kinds of ads to entice us. It used to drum up business with this claim: Twitter advertisements will give us access to its ‘premium real estate. ’ Quite a lofty goal, but it’s based on how men called the 1%  own the world and you owe them perpetual interest on your home and car loan. The ‘real’ part is land. Diamond necklaces, cars, fur coats, floor to ceiling libraries, British designer Ozwald Boateng suits or sneakers that cost $1000 are not real. They are just bling bling, that goes down in price when you die, but land? That’s real estate. You want to be rich? Buy land parcels. Do your research and identify land the government might want to build a nuclear weapons factory. You don’t like weapons of destruction? Too bad. You will never be rich if you have a conscience. Billionaires own land because they understand the game. That’s why some of them own whole islands, but they’ll nev

Speakers Corner Hyde Park, London open on Sundays. Have something to say? Stand on a kitchen step ladder and speak. No audience? Try the following Sunday. Do tourists still visit Speakers’ Corner in Hyde Park on Sunday? It’s a relevant question because this computer is a digital speakers’ corner thanks to Twitter, YouTube, Tik Tok and all social media. I don’t need to apply for a visa for England and to book into a bed and breakfast establishment since I can’t afford a 5-Star hotel. The London Speakers’ Corner is an open space where you plant a box, get on it and say what you like about teabags, soccer, taxes, Labour Party, Tories, capitalism, socialism, the European Union, the royal family, anything. It is a British legacy for free speech. Speakers used soapboxes in 1855 when it started but they use kitchen step ladders now. It is fun for the crowd, but not for speakers because they want it to stay longer around their podium and not defect to the next speaker. What I used to enjoy wer

The whole body 'talks' with Sign Language. Photo credit: online pic. Deaf people have a great advantage over us who speak French, English, Zulu, Ojibwe, Japanese or any other language. Why? Sign Language is a whole speech. The total body is a network of communication: mouth, chest, arms, eyes, facial expression and hands. I’m an outsider, but I think the pandemic affected that network. How are they coping, trying to speak with the masks on? Eyes must be working overtime, to compensate the obstruction. Eyes play an important role as traffic lights, but how the mouth moves determines vehicles: trucks, cars, buses, convertibles etc. People outside deaf culture can relate to the mouth’s importance because of the words, smile and laugh. Deaf people not only smile, but sign as well. With the mask on, they probably switch on the eyes more. Outsiders use the mouth for swear words. When deaf people are mad, it is a whole symphony of hands, mouth and fingers. You don’t have to be deaf to

Justina Miles from Philly, the deaf interpreter who performed at  Rihanna's Super Bowl half time. Photo Credit: online pic. It’s possible to learn sign language. Justina Miles’ performance signing for Sheryl Lee Ralph and Rihanna at the Super Bowl, is proof of that. It also reminds me of the YouTube Channel Signing With Omar . Omar stresses the importance of what he calls the 5 parameters of sign language. We won’t get into all of them here but Justina Miles made some of them brilliantly clear to me. Let’s take Rihanna’s song Work . Justina Miles knocked on her fists, the sign for work. Omar’s videos also stress facial expressions. Justina Miles drove the audience crazy with that. I find them the easiest part of learning sign language because people who speak, do it all the time. 1.  What’s wrong?  It is prompted by what others see on your face. The sign is the same. 2.  Shh! The baby is asleep . The sign for baby is how we hold babies because they are very delicate. There’s also a

Lewis Hamilton, F1 champion born and raised in England  hums, when  he thinks about  his bank account.  Grandma used to hum. Mama and her sisters too. I never thought about it growing up, until I went to college in Europe. I unconsciously hummed one time and other students stared at me. That was the first and last time I tried it. In public. I hum because I cannot sing. I’m aware of my limitations that is why I don’t sing in public, like people who will remain anonymous. Do you know how painful it is to listen to someone who cannot sing? Guess what? They are oblivious to that fact. We don’t know our flaws as the Zulu proverb goes:  iqaqa kalizizwa ukunuka . Meaning? The skunk is not aware of its foul smell. I know mine. I can never be Jill Scott, who sings as if she’s talking to me, only me, so I hum. To tell you the truth, I have no reason to hum because the bank sends me rude reminders about my balance. I don’t think it meters such treatment to customers like Lewis Hamilton, the Form

Meghan Markle, or the Duchess of Sussex, as Buckingham Palace calls her is very fortunate.    Her marriage to Prince Harry put on show people who believe that they are family members and want her to acknowledge them one way or the other.   She is fortunate because she is still alive and can decide how she wants to relate to them.    Dead people don’t have a choice, especially if they left huge sums of money or fame that can translate to riches.    They cannot come back from the grave and put a stop to claims from family members who suddenly love them so much they sue someone for allegedly causing their death. Wealth enables famous people to live a particular lifestyle.    It might be toxic, like living on drugs.    When they are enjoying themselves, the world never hears about concerned family members that caution them about potential dangers of the chosen lifestyle.   Maybe they did, behind closed family doors and the dead person said,  ‘It’s my life. ’    Well and good.    More reaso

I am an NRI, translated into: no-real Indian. I follow Indian cinema in my quest to find only one million original films before humanity as we know it disappears. I will use the term Indian cinema sparingly because I only have access to Hindi films, not Bengali, Tamil, Telugu, Urdu, Marathi, Kannada, Gujarati and other languages. South Africa widows Films such as Sholay, Mohabbatein, Choker Bhali and Maidan-e-Jung remind me of growing up in Durban, where we would spot a widow by her black weeds. As time went on, women stopped wearing full black and had a black collar on top of the blouse or dress for the bereavement period. This was later abandoned for just a piece of cloth pinned on the jacket or sleeve to indicate a death in the family. Mourning usually takes a year. A cleansing ceremony is held after that and the widow starts wearing colourful clothes again and can also get married. It is now very rare to see a woman who has lost a husband dressed in black from head to

Producers of The Daily Show , which used to be hosted by Trevor Noah,   sometimes take cameras to the street and ask voters about the state of America, especially during a few months to a presidential election. Some answers are funny. Others ridiculous, but what lingers in one’s mind is the sadness, that during elections, people voluntarily give up common sense. Common sense is how parents bring up kids. Don’t touch the kettle or heater with wet hands. Electricity will zap you. Look left or right before you cross the road. Wash your hands before you touch that hamburger. Kids grow up and they embrace common sense. They even threaten younger brothers and sisters:  I’ll tell Mom you didn’t brush your teeth. Therefore, it is baffling when adult voters over 25 years have no common sense, when it comes to voting, a process that might find their sons and daughters in another part of the world, guns and drones ablaze fighting Tik-Tok creators. Common sense is embalmed. That is why politicians

Does a fish called tuna really exist? It’s one of the food items I picked up when I was in college in the Big Apple, together with tuna melt, bagels and creme cheese and a monstrosity, called a club sandwich. I didn’t like it. Tuna is too dry for my liking and what’s up with all the water in the can? Ignorant me. I didn’t know there’s a tuna steak until I saw it at a supermarket around here. And the price! Why is it so expensive? Never mind. Two years ago I came across canned tuna that I like. It has olive oil, a little pricey but better than the $1 dry tuna. Try it with pasta. RECIPE 1.  Boil pasta in salted water until  al dente , 12 minutes max. Pardon my Italian. Drain and leave to cool. 2.  Toss onions, small tomato, in garlic and olive oil for 6 minutes. 3.  Add a spoon of spaghetti sauce and red or green chilies. Cook for 2 minutes. 4.  Throw pasta in the pot. Fold in a spoon of low fat margarine. 5.  Throw in some grated cheddar cheese. 6.  Switch off heat but leave on stove to

Western women will not say it, but they envy women in the so-called underdeveloped countries because over there, a child is raised by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins: the whole proverbial ‘village.’ The sun also helps because after school, kids take off the school uniform, eat, do home chores and off they go to jump rope in the yard, go to climb trees, swim in the ocean, play soccer and cricket and only come back when stomachs start growling. They create their own playing. That’s not the case in western countries. Winter parenting is one of the reasons why women in Europe, Canada and U.S. decide not to have kids. They might have one, two max. What is seldom talked about is the mental and physical strength needed to bring up kids in cold continents, where women lug heavy sports bags full of hockey sticks and skates to the car, the skating rink and back home. Some parents don’t have a car so snow sleighs get on the bus. Winter parenting is not only the drop off and pick up

Forever. I will love you forever is an illusion, a mirage, an apparition, because it presupposes that factors which inspired that love are constant like sunrise and sunset. If I love you for your money, forever becomes  today I no longer do , if you become bankrupt and lose the cars that moved us around to places where forever people hang out. Ngugi wa Thiong’o , a famous writer from Kenya once said love happens in a certain social context, meaning people fall in love and marry from their class and culture. Forever becomes  today I don’t  if you lose a leg, and the national athletics team removes you from its list. I loved you for the fame and glory, television cameras and online sounding boards as you held the flag aloft at the Olympics and Commonwealth Games. Everybody loves winners of beauty competitions: Miss World, Miss European Union, Miss Universe or Miss South Africa. They get married to men who purport to love them forever. Forever becomes  today, I no longer   do  if your fac

Business plans are one of the Internet's casualties. A business plan is a complicated document, with its own English. It also needs dexterity in numbers. This is how much my business needs, how much I have right now and how much it will make in future. It’s a complicated document. That’s why it is drawn up by professionals although there are apps for it. That was then. Today, in the fresh year of 2023, people making money online have only one asset, a cellphone. Let’s leave out podcasts and Rihanna’s old music videos for now. Did YouTubers prepare a business plan before they got online? Probably not, because it is a semi-legal document. Banks want to see it. Investors too, because nobody will invest in a business venture based on quicksand. YouTube producers have an unorthodox business plan where everything is condensed into one source: page views. They are the beginning and the end, strength and weakness. Threats to the business is the next guy that keeps getting more page views.

The frozen river is behind that yellow structure. It’s -24 degrees. Nice day for this time of the year. That is why we must dress accordingly, if we don’t want to create content for bloggers. Cold is not cute. Women who think it is, end up un-cute . Interesting watching them cling to boyfriends when wearing stilettos in this weather. It’s not because of love and affection. The man’s arm is an anchor, in case they slip on the hidden agenda and break a leg before they enter the club’s bright lights and pumping music. Hidden agenda? You bet. Under that fresh snow is last week’s snow that is as smooth as glass. Cold is not cute, but if we insist on cuteness, we must use some common sense.  Wear your snow boots and pack the stilettos in a tote bag or a small shopping bag. You can use the Walmart one. No? That doesn’t fit your status? No problem. Use the green Harrods’ carry bag. It’s a compromise. Both rich and poor use it to the office and nail bar. Cold is not cute, so when you get to the

Wallis Simpson and Queen Elizabeth's uncle King Edward V111.  Diana Spencer, Prince Harry’s mother is an ancestor. No, she is not. That is barbaric. She was a Christian. Yes she was. Jesus is an ancestor. Her eyes are trained on her children even in her grave. She gave them wives who love them, the ‘spare’ in particular. Prince Harry was very young during her divorce from Charles, the Prince of Wales, soon to be crowned King of England and all stolen land from the British Empire. That brings us to royal tradition. Online Diatribe : I don’t like Meghan Markle. Amused Onlooker : Why? Online Diatribe : She says bad things about the royal family. Amused Onlooker : Did you listen to the Oprah interview, watch Prince Harry and Meghan’s Netflix series and read his book Spare, from cover to cover? Online Diatribe : No, but it’s all over the internet, how he said bad things about the Queen and everybody. Amused Onlooker : Did he say anything bad about royal tradition? Online Diatribe : I do

William and Harry at their mother's funeral. Prince Harry will protect his wife with his life. Meghan Markle might not be safe during Charles 111’s coronation. Powerful media men like Jeremy Clarkson have called on his followers to injure her in public. He apologized. So what? He achieved his aim. Get the message out. Social media nurtures hate, which translated into murder like mass shootings in shopping malls and classrooms. Prince Harry has always worried about the safety of his family. His wife’s safety is upper most in his mind as his father’s coronation approaches. No, he doesn’t have to be invited. He’s family. Like your family, you just show up. Prince Harry’s kids have a mother and he doesn’t want them to end up orphans like him and his brother Prince William. The royal family will not hurt his wife, bundle her to the Tower of London or something, but some elements of the British public might. Fanaticism is trending. It gets the headline and more page views on the internet

I got it all wrong. I used to be part of the band that blamed the internet for putting stores out of business. A sign outside a bath shop made me think otherwise. Shop online, pick up at store. This is nothing new. Stores have placing these signs outside for some time now. That store sign set me thinking in another direction. The internet might be actually good for merchants, but bad news for the property development company that owns the mall. Shop online, pick up at store. Maybe online sales rake in more profits than walk-in customers. In fact walk-ins do not graduate to sales because we are forever ‘just looking.’ We also run away from people we live with and use the mall as a public park, without trees and the duck pond. If online sales are booming, merchants don’t need the physical presence of a store. What do they do? They don’t renew the lease. The mall loses the rent. They pack up the remaining clothes, shoes, bath salts whatever, rent a warehouse somewhere and continue with th