Nonqaba said ...

The daughter-in-law in jeans. Culture is the offspring of a geographical area. It grows into trees and massive rivers because of geography. It survives because of spring water and wind that sustain it. Circumstances change. Men and women who inhabited that geography move away to another geography like America, Australia, Britain, Brazil, Canada, France, Italy, Germany, New Zealand, Spain or South Africa. Having said that, humans are conceited. They think culture will survive in strange lands despite the absence of water, wind and soil that kept it alive. That’s where the daughter-in-law comes in. She was born in Canada or America of immigrant parents. Maybe, she arrived as a little girl and her English or French is flawless. Meaning? It has no trace of the Hong Kong, Punjabi, Yoruba, Taiwan or Korean accent. She regards herself as 100% Canadian, American, Australian, British or German. She grows up and marries a guy because their parents speak the same foreign language. There is nothin

Motorcycle or insect? It doesn't matter. He likes it. That's the beauty of keeping individual bank accounts after marriage. You cannot change him. Don't court divorce because of a little insect. Banks are up to no good. So what’s new?  You do an online transaction. The bank sends you a text message that it was successful and charge you 30 cents. It’s all legal, but try and buy summer shorts. The nice cashier says your card is declined. Why? Because your account is 30 cents short. Breathe in, breathe out. Let me do that. It’s such a lovely day, I don’t want to lose it by thinking of bank shenanigans, which brings me to happily married life. It only works if there’s a joint bank account and individual accounts for him and her. That is quite easy because they had them when they were single and carefree. The joint account is for home expenses: kids’ school fees, school uniform, hockey sticks, baseball mitts, that sort of of thing.  Individual accounts are for things they liked

Kate Henshaw (52) actress and premier Nigerian fitness instructor.  No protruding stomach like mine. I must contact her @katesFit4Life.  Monday is a bad day. Let’s re-name it introspection day. It is when traffic is the heaviest and mirrors the clearest. That's why I’m having second thoughts about my waist and the reason why I pose for pictures side ways, not full frontal. The introspection tells me I'm responsible for my waist line, which has so many lines, it looks like a country road. The government is not to blame for a change. It’s amazing how we take personal decisions injurious to our physical and mental health, then blame the government.  Fine. Sometimes it is to blame when it overpays us. We  use the money and a year later it realizes its mistake and we must re-pay. We use most of it to buy food, which is partly responsible for the beleaguered waist line. Partly responsible because every body part is a work of art and genius. Genius because the body has limits. I cook,

Shoot tight. Make every frame contribute to the story. Avoid wide shots, they have too much detail. Evolution of story telling. Netflix and all streaming platforms should consider giving directors guidelines for shooting for laptops and other digital devices. The final destination of movies - where we will watch them - determines how they are shot. 1.  Making films for the cinema screen. 2.  Making movies for television. 3.  Making movies for digital devices like laptops. The cinema screen is wide. That’s why we enjoyed long scenes of snow on Austrian mountains as we munched popcorn. Bollywood dances and martial arts films such as Hero, directed by Zhang Yimou are also spectacular on cinema screens. More recently, Black Panther and Wakanda Forever directed by Ryan Coogler are a cinematic delight. We don’t have time for that now because we are spoilt. We really don’t have the time for the aesthetic. A whole buffet of movies is waiting for us online. That’s why directors must shoot tight

Roots, the American T.V. series about slavery, based on Alex Haley's book, Roots. Kidnapping is thumba in the Zulu language. Cattle and women were spoils of war in ancient Africa, then the slave trade introduced a new dimension: coin money. That is how some wars were fought specifically to get men and women for European slave traders, that supplied America and the Caribbean with ‘cargo.’ Other women were just kidnapped as they went about their daily lives.  In present day Nigeria, most movies have a kidnapping scene. I don’t live there, but I think movies exacerbate the problem because we tend to be copy cats. Some people forget movies are fiction and might become kidnappers. Porn producers and kidnapping. Young girls are in danger in some parts of the U.S. They are kidnapped, forced into drugs and online porn movies. Unfortunately, some girls like Carlee Russell from Alabama lie about it. She disappeared on 13 July. She turned up two days later and claimed she was kidnapped. She l

Original content is in short supply. Artificial intelligence is an excuse. We gave away the right to jump start the brain a long time ago, long before social media. The internet, only removed it from the drawer and put it on the table, because we share and re-tweet thoughts and videos. Sorry. Hit the back space button. Twitter is X now, so re-tweet is no longer a word. Let’s try re-X.   ‘Did you get my re-X .’ ‘Your what?’ ‘Re-X .’ I blame things I don’t understand. That’s why artificial intelligence (AI) is my current scapegoat. I blame it for the brain tumor. We refuse to use common sense, one of nature’s greatest gifts. Taking a selfie on top of a building so that you can get a bird’s eye view of Toronto, is a bad idea, so does trying that in lion-infested game reserves. Of course, there were no lions when you raised that phone, now your family is in mourning. Our brain is such a block of ice, even AI warns us. Are you sure,   you want to delete this photo or discard this post? If y

Twitter for business is well-established. There's another Twitter, the street Twitter which is global and undocumented. Does the street know that Twitter is X? Probably not, and they don't care. This is what happened to the Facebook name change. The street will always call it Facebook, despite the new corporate name Meta. Incidentally, meta  means 3 in Yoruba, a Nigerian language.  Technology companies and the global business world understand the new name because it brings into the Facebook fold the three brothers,  Instagram, Whatsapp and Messenger. The street doesn’t know that. The platform where it plays, hustles, curse enemies or destroy reputations will always be Facebook. The name is self explanatory, easy to remember and it’s in your face, sort of.   Some sections of the street are probably not aware that Instagram and Facebook are brothers. They think moving to Instagram is a better option . On the contrary, Facebook photos are clearer than Instagram, which has a fuzzy

“May I have your number?” “It’s in the phone book.” “I couldn’t find it.” “Oops! My bad. I forgot it is unlisted.” It’s a joke now, because phone numbers, birthdays, age, divorce history and banking details are out there, online. It’s called data, and it’s probably one of the reasons Muskology changed the name from Twitter to X. Yes, Twitter. Please indulge me to say Twitter, for the purposes of this blog. I don’t fully understand it, but the new Twitter will have a banking option. My antenna light up at the mention of banks. I don’t know the difference between wealthy and rich, but I know banks and money are twins. If the new Twitter can function as a bank, it means my life has an added danger. We are prey to scams. Top of the range hackers hack little people like me and big guns like airlines and telecom companies. Why the banking option? Elon Musk can change the name of his possessions if he likes. Most women don’t have an option. They get married, they change their surname. But why

'I wasn’t expecting you.’ It’s a line in the movies, especially when the woman is so in love, she misses the boyfriend and decides to surprise him. Some women have ulterior motives. They think they can catch men red-handed,  ‘cheating on me.’ Others want to demonstrate their intention, to be permanent and be part of his home, after an expensive wedding dress from Dubai, eight asoebi (bridesmaids) and a gilded ballroom in an expensive hotel . ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’ Men don’t like girlfriends dropping by suddenly like hail. This is not a welcome and women who understand English and respect themselves, understand it’s a cue to leave. How do you handle that with family? You can’t say to your cousin ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’ She didn’t have your address, so obviously, she got it from a close member of the family. Who knows? Maybe the culprit is your mother and we cannot argue with that, especially if you don’t call her that often. We say that to family because family is an enigma. It

School might be extinct in the near future because education, its product no longer has value. School used to teach facts of life. 1.  the sun and moon relay 2.  why geese fly to warmer climate in winter 3.  why it always rains in Nigeria and other countries on the Equator 4.  why big animals like elephants and whales have small eyes 5.  why we are born, get old and die School also teaches history like Western ‘Civilization’, apartheid, slavery, the Holocaust, but not how the Sphinx in Egypt lost its nose. Despite cultural and religious differences, all countries have the same textbook about the human body, how male and female complement each other and how woman is the mother of the world. The world has changed and all these subjects are under scrutiny. The gay and lesbian belief that men can become women by wearing  wigs and make-up, questions empirical evidence: male + female = humanity. U.S. states in the south want to protect white kids from discomfort, so schools are banning certa

It's natural for parents to want to protect their kids from harm,  and possible castration, advocated by the trans gender lobby.  When real parents neglect their kids because they are drunk or high most of the time, beat them black and blue and allow strangers into the home to force them into sex, courts take them away and give them to foster ‘parents.’ Courts do that because in the animal world, parents protect their children. We are animals, so we are also expected to do that and that is empirical evidence . It’s a big word I hated in college, but we used it in our assignments to get higher grades. What is empirical evidence? Here’s one online definition. “Empirical evidence refers to objective evidence that appears the same regardless of the observer.”  Babies are too young so they don’t know academic-speak, but they know who is dada/baba , who is mama . They love their parents and doze off in their arms. Those warm arms are in danger now, because they are labeled right wing if

Very soon, she's be told to stop the somersault because  You're a girl . Photo Credit: online pic.  I’m not aware of a podcast where women talk about how they sometimes wished they were boys when they were growing up. Should someone start such a platform, the common thread would be the reason for that wish. Girls wished they were boys for freedom, like their brothers and cousins. There are millions of girls growing up in closed societies where the high fence is religion. They don’t wear ‘sexy’ clothes like us. They cover up everything when they are in public. They know parents will probably choose husbands in the same fence.  Boys and girls, male and female in such societies live in different spaces under one roof and buildings used for religion. Therefore, it will be easy to assume that they never question their existence because it is upfront. Religion decides who, what, why, where and when. But they do, sing Beyonce’s song If I were A Boy  like their western counterparts. Bo

World Fire and Police Games tourists. Tourism is the end product, so its recovery is joined at the hip with the recovery of ‘ cheerleaders. ’  Jobs for one, and two income earners in particular. It will be a struggle to go on vacation post COVID-19, if only one person has a job, because kids’ basic needs become more expensive when they enter the teenage zone. Other cheerleaders include : 1.  credit worthiness. Most people use credit cards to purchase airline tickets and other expenses. Will they have them post COVID-19 or will they be paying interest accumulated during the pandemic? 2.  conferences, some companies might stop having them abroad . 3.  airlines’ ability or inability to bounce back. 4.  diminishing number of tourists for fear of being stranded in foreign countries or at sea. 5.  tour buses, some invested in the latest buses not knowing the virus will strike. 6.  hotels and lodges. Some might not make it post COVID-19. 7.  Locals and how they perceive tourists. There is a l

The advantages of in-your-country vacation by bus is the scenery. If you take the car, the driver cannot admire the change of scenery in Alberta as it prepares you for nature’s artwork called British Columbia. Well! I suppose it will depend on which direction you’re coming from. The primary driver and relief driver in long distance trips concentrate on well maintained but unfamiliar roads, therefore careful is the word. They cannot share the enthusiasm from the back seat.  Mummy look , a deer ! But families take the car out of habit. They drive to the supermarket to pick up milk and laundry detergent. They take the car to fetch suits and other clothes from the dry cleaners. They also drive to the gym during the summer, when the house is six blocks away. Therefore it is second nature to load home into the car and take it on vacation. How? We take toys, feeding chairs, coolers, all hair and face creams, pillows, blow dryers, favourite shoes, duvet covers, own clocks (phones have clocks)

When touring your own country by bus or car, try and make visits to coincide with local heritage, agricultural or music shows. Cellphones have plus and minus. Plus, because calls, texts and chats have helped solve murders. Minus because, they make women who don’t work outside the home, very lonely. Husbands and kids come through the door looking at their phones. They’ll put them down when it’s time for bed. They don’t talk to the person who makes a home, a home. Another minus is self-induced stupidity. Summer is here. Some people might decide to do Canada by taking a tour bus. Great idea. Driving is no fun if you have to keep your eyes on unfamiliar mountain roads. What mountains? They don’t see them because they are glued to cellphones. The joy of tour buses is seeing a country unfold. I once took a bus from Winnipeg to British Columbia. We drove through Saskatchewan. We had a washroom break in Alberta and to change drivers. I thought that was neat. We were in safe and fresh hands. Th

Check your bank fees. It's July, so there might be an increase. July, the favourite month in Europe, Canada and U.S. Folks are out in the sun playing tag in swimming pools and the ocean. That’s how banks like it. They increase bank fees while we play. I’m my own accountant, which means I count my money because there’s not much to count. That’s why I read love notes from the bank. I don’t understand most of them because I didn’t go to the London School of Economics, but I understand the difference between $2 to $2.50. It’s a huge fee increase, monumental, because numbers count. Banks are intolerant. They beep INSUFFICIENT FUNDS when my account is short by 50 cents, and I don’t mean the rapper. However, we can’t accuse them of not warning us about the fee increase because they are telling us now in April. The bank I use sent me a love note about it. That’s why I assume all major banks did, since they are brothers in crime. You thought they are competitors for our money, which is only

I don’t know what plant based food is because I don’t trust labels. Remember my vintage post about organic food? The label says organic but I have no way of double checking that. Don’t let labels fool you. Can I taste the ‘plant-ness’ in plant-based food? It reminds me of an old movie where someone ordered chicken risotto. The waiter brought the order and the customer said: Where’s the chicken? I will not join the plant based food fashion because I go by colour. Plants are green and I like the colour on the land, especially in spring, a welcome sight from that depressing winter sight of brown trees. Colour is the rule of thumb. If it’s green, I cook it. If it’s red like meat, I cook, roast or grill it. If it’s pink/orange like salmon, I poach it for two minutes max, because I don’t want to kill its nutrients. What happens with plant based food? Do they put grass in sausages and hamburger patties? The problem is the shape. A sausage is a sausage and I don’t touch it because I associate

I went to the bank today to check some errors. Yes indeed. Who said computers don’t make errors? There are two balances in every bank account. The balance you think you ought to have, and the balance left over, after the gardener has done some weeding. Why are banks such avid gardeners? Must they weed, when there are no weeds? This is bad news for me, because they end up yanking out baby flowers. Baby flowers? Yes, flowers in bud. I think they are prettier than full bloom. Flowers in bud remind me of pregnant women that are loved. Glowing, makes your skin shiver because we can never understand nature. Loved, because pregnancy doesn’t mean you are loved. Love? We cannot talk about banks and love in the same sentence, unless you have Sylvester. He is the guy who counts money for rich folks. That’s why he’s the ac count ant. Millionaires don’t talk about their millions. ‘Ask Sylvester,’ that’s what they say. Even the family knows, so kids don’t waste time and talk to mom and dad. They go

Do I speak English? No. I don't. I can't assume words based on what I see.  I’m going back to school because I can’t write if I have no vocabulary. Should I book a flight on Tik Tok? At least I don’t have to worry about paucity of words, with video. The English language has a metamorphosis every time I go to bed. I will rectify that by going back to school for these words. 1.  Baby boomers 2.  Gen X 3.  Gen Z 4.  Millennials 5.  Cis women 6.  Influencer 7.  2SLGBTQI+ Back to school you say? No, you can’t. Kids have a dress code and and social media-speak:  subscribe to my channel , and it’s not the body of waters known as the English Channel. Hey! Why not call it the French Channel? Because of British imperialism. By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

Spike Lee, film producer and his friend, sports commentator Stephen A. Smith  went crazy when the New York Knicks reached the NBA play offs this year.  Old post 14 June 2020, about the pandemic and basketball. More kids wish to be sports stars than doctors. Basketball for example. It’s either they love the game or because they dream of having their names on sneakers. Simply put, they want to be millionaires. COVID-19 might change NBA contracts. Having your name on a pair of footwear means you’re good. You are on top of your game. That is why Puma, Nike, Adidas and other brands put your name on a pair of sneakers. It’s good business because it is money in the bank, because fans will buy them because of the name. You will get a cut of course, because you are in the hall of fame, basketball fame. Most little boys want to play in the NBA for that fame and fortune. The fortune part might be cut in half because of COVID-19. NBA games are about people packed arm to arm on uncomfortable seats

2020 Lock down.   Old post, 22 April 2020 about the pandemic. Masks will be one of the left-overs when the corona virus has moved on, if it will. Health experts, provincial and federal governments will give us reasons to justify laws making masks mandatory, like seat belts. Social distancing is another left-over which will also be with us for a long time in whatever shape or form. For example, we might be required to stand six feet apart at the grocery store and drugstore, but there will be other areas where it would be difficult to implement. Hospitals. How do hospitals place beds six feet apart, when they don’t have enough hospitals or clinics? Build more hospitals? Not possible, not with shrinking budgets and land. Cities will have to find land from somewhere to build hospitals. Libraries - which are municipal property in most countries - can provide the solution because less people use them now, thanks to cellphones and computers. If social distancing becomes permanent after COVID-

Remember those days during the pandemic? Stores did not want the whole family. Teacher : O.K. class, when did the pandemic begin? Once upon a time, on lock down. Old post, 25 March, 2020. How do we describe the state of the nation during this delicate time? I toyed with the idea of state of the world, but deleted it because this virus has made us one nation. It fries the supposition of superiority based on land mass, ownership of weapons of destruction, consumption of junk food, money in the bank, political systems, we have a king you don’t, my religion is the only true religion, currency, hair and eye colour, skin colour, or dexterity in sports. The coronavirus has made us one big omelette. How then do we describe the state we are in? It’s such a pity about my paucity in languages. I would not understand how other parts of the world put it. 1.  We’re frozen. 2.  We’re on hold. 3.  We’re deadlocked. 4.  We’re ambushed. 5.  We’re cornered (corona-d). 6.  We’re embargoed. 7.  Our flight

Charming house, in the right location? It's under a railway bridge and has been empty for four years. It's also surrounded by tall buildings because the owner refused to sell to developers. Buyers are very powerful. I’m selling my house or apartment. I want two million dollars. A potential buyer offers $1.5 million. Guess who wins? Real estate agents love the summer because that is when we visit houses for sale. Buyers may be powerful, but they must not forget location - where the house is - because of the future. Which is? Selling that very same house or apartment after a few years. Property for sale is online now so, do we still need  agents ? Yes,  because they have exclusive information that is not on Google. It is that information they must declare because property is an investment whether the buyer will live there or rent it out. Honest real estate agents will tell potential buyers that : 1. A property developer has bought out three stores and will build a high rise buil

Kids are the main reason for immigration. Babies need new clothes almost every six months  and that's good for the economy. They are full-blown consumers when they are adults.  Zulu is a language spoken in Kwa-Zulu, South Africa where its umbilical cord is buried. It travelled to cities during colonization. I can only post Zulu lessons, if I find English words that can help you pronounce Zulu words. LINDA , is a perfect example. It's a girl's name, but li-nda means to wait in Zulu. Today's lesson is about buying. Money makes the world go round and wrong. The internet is a buyers’ and sellers’ market. They even sell human beings, especially girls who want money to buy what Rihanna has, houses, handbags and shoes. They put themselves in danger on their own free will, so they are not victims. 1.  Buy is t he - nga  in  Zulu. You say the first part like tell and the second like hanger. 2.  Buyers are called  a -ba-the-ngi . You say the first part like Abba, the second lik