Airports Nobody Smiles

-


I’m flying first class the next time I board that steel bird in order to lessen airport aggravation to my body and soul.  

Airlines are concerned about safety and I respect them for that, but I don’t like taking off my socks at airports.  They might have holes which I hadn’t noticed. Worse still they might not be laundry fresh.

I don’t like flying. Delayed or cancelled flights are no problem. They are part of the territory, but taking my computer off its bag, taking off my hat, throwing keys on that tray and spreading my arms so that strangers can scan my body with electronic baseball bats, is not my cup of tea. 

My worse experience was at the Dubai International Airport where security handled us like goats, shouting orders. Safety is a priority yes, but what happened to my nail files and small scissors airport security confiscated in the past? Do airlines have garage sales where they sell these things?  I should Google this.  How about some common sense?  Is a nail file really a terrorist weapon? 

Flying also means immigration.  I need a T-shirt which says ‘I have no intention of staying in your country.’  Well!  That’s too long.  Maybe I should come up with a message that is short and sweet.  Honestly though, immigration officers at London Heathrow and Berlin International were very rude on more than two occasions. 

Loving your country is great, but please don’t assume that everyone wants to enter it through the back door.  I’m very happy in my own imperfect country thanks very much.

Safety videos on board also took all the fun away from flying.  I miss airlines and their little drama.  Stewardesses and stewards showing us emergency exits with their arms, putting oxygen masks over their heads and showing us how to inflate life vests was something l looked forward to.  Some did it with flair, like a scene in an Off Off Broadway play.

You miss the food?  No you don’t.  You always complained that it was terrible remember? 

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Blogger Without Borders

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more