Football Movie A Christmas Fumble

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COVID-19 2020. It’s easy to blame the pandemic for staying home and not going to the cinema, but if truth be told, we stopped because of the bubble gum. Same Hollywood screenplay.

The title lets the cat out of the bag. We know that there will be bad guys ferrying contraband goods, women conspiring to murder husbands for insurance money or tech guys developing code and double-crossing each other. We might as well go home after 20 minutes because this is what will happen;

1. He points a gun at her

2. Tells her he never loved her, just her dad’s money

3. She tries to loosen the rope tying her hands

4. He is just about to pull the trigger

5. He staggers and falls down, somebody shot him

6. “Put down your weapons,” says the chief of police

7. The boyfriends’ accomplices comply

Hello. Somebody, can we change the 100 year’s old screenplay? They did in A CHRISTMAS FUMBLE, written by Angela Burt-Murray, a former Essence editor. Brilliant as I am, I never guessed the movie was going to end like that. Delete that, because it is about American football, I still don’t know anything about. I only knew what a quarterback is, during the University of Colorado’s 2023 spring game. It was snowing. Anyway, thanks to Shedeur Sanders, Coach Prime’s son, now I know that a quarterback is the thrower, he throws the ball. Ha! Ha!

A CHRISTMAS FUMBLE is about a quarterback played by the moonlight-fine Devale Ellis. “I don’t get sacked.” I know what it means, from watching in horror last year’s conspiracy to STOP DEION, hatched by outside coaches and executed internally, by his own coaches, moonlighting for the football cartel. They made sure Shedeur Sanders was the most sacked quarterback in college football last season. We are watching Pat Shurmur, the new offensive coordinator with digital eagle eyes. Is he here to work for Coach Prime, or to continue with the STOP DEION mission?

In conclusion, A CHRISTMAS FUMBLE screenplay has fresh lines like, “I thought you’ll be Michelle to my Barack.” There we go, there we go, infusing former U.S. President and his wife into the story. Another fresh from the box line is when Eva Marcille’s character says: “We’re team Meghan and Harry.”  Yes. Amen to that.

Cinema is called movies, because the content is moving images, but they are based on a screenplay. Unfortunately, it’s the same Hollywood chewed-up gum, even when Hollywood died many moons ago.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

 

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