Birthdays Are Private
I once told a supervisor my birthday is private therefore, I did not want it celebrated at work. She didn’t like it. I did not tell her it was hypocritical because my co-workers did not like me. The feeling was mutual. I was not into gossip and judging people’s choices in life. It’s frustrating being a new employee. You are asked questions and your answers might be misconstrued.
Are you married?
No.
Never?
I’m divorced, three times actually.
That’s it. From then onwards, you are judged by that answer, sometimes by women who love going to work in snow blizzards because it enables them to hide from monsters they call husbands and kids.
Birthdays in School
One of the most difficult things for immigrant families is adapting. They have to adapt to pizza, because it makes kids to be accepted by other kids, although it’s so expensive. They must organize sleep-overs and all the cost involved. But what they fear the most are birthdays, because they are a big deal in most schools.
There are rituals and long-established forms of celebrating birthdays, and they have a dollar value. Forget the cake. There are things called ‘goody bags’ where the 16 kids go home with a bag full of goodies, a ‘thank you’ from the kid who had a birthday. It depends where your child attends school. The goody bag in Beverley Hills might include the latest phone and an Italian designer back-pack. How does an immigrant family get the money to cater for birthdays of 16 kids in a class?
Nigerian Movies
Nigeria is the second biggest movie producer after India. Nigeria’s English movies are popular at home and abroad. They handle the Igbo and Yoruba experience although some of them are carbon copies of what is happening on Tyler Perry’s soaps, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.
This reliance on what is happening on social media is bad for men because of the cost. They must buy diamond rings and propose in expensive restaurants with cellphones in attendance. It is even more destructive for parents who must organize birthday parties they cannot afford. Nigerian producers must be sympathetic to parents, who can barely pay the rent and school fees.
Nonqaba waka Msimang
Executive Producer
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