Restaurants Bread Basket

-

Paris Olympics over. Did you enjoy French bread they call baguette? 

"May I take your order?”

Waiters used to place a basket of warm bread, before asking that question. It was their calling card, and I looked forward to it. It came with best men, two or three packets of butter. Naughty but nice, but nice nonetheless.

Then came the rude and oppressive COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Lockdown. Restaurants, concerts, ball games everything shut down. Are we eating out again? I must ask the Restaurants Association, if it exists. They should have numbers on restaurants that went under and those that survived. If they are back in business, do they still have the complimentary bread? Now truth be told, it disappeared from tables before the pandemic, thanks to the loud diet brigade. You must not eat this. That is poison. You cannot touch that, it will add another province/state on your body.

It’s only bread and I don’t eat it everyday. You know why? Restaurants have different bread. I had a dining-out friend in Toronto and table bread was one of the criterion we used, for grading restaurants. There’s nothing like a dining-out friend. Women miss many experiences in life because Hollywood and YouTube movies give the impression that eating out is thrilling only with men.

Talking about men, let’s talk about being on a date. That bread enables the man and woman to cross-evaluate. What am I doing here? Look at the way he chews. Did she use two packets of butter on one slice? He has talked about his cars and houses since we got here. Then she asks him for a two-some selfie. The man excuses himself to the bathroom, never to be seen again. See? We need bread back on those restaurant tables. It’s good for date assessment.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more