My Name is Woman. Call Me Quiet.

-


“You are quiet.”

Is it a question, or an opinion? Let’s say it’s a question. It is usually asked in tight spaces like automobiles. Women find it strange because quiet is their middle name. It is part of bridal gifts from mothers. Culture expects them to be quiet. Religion insists. Now cellphones.

Women do not get that question at the dinner table, because the family is held hostage by cellphones. Any attempt to engage the husband, sons or daughters leads to rebuke. Mom be quiet, I’m on my phone, in cultures that allow kids to speak to parents like that. Then comes national celebrations like Labour Day, Canada Day, 4th of July, Christmas or Thanksgiving. Quiet again. Women are expected to be quiet, especially when company is visiting.

Most women are quiet because they don’t want to be accused of nagging. Culture instilled in them that the man is the head of the family. Culture does not define what family is, but women know they give birth to family components and nurture them to maturity. Women also keep quiet to make husbands the envy of their peers. You have such a lovely family.

In some parts of KwaZulu, a province in South Africa, men still greet each other like this. Basa phil’abantwana? Translate that into: are the kids well? The wife is part of the kids.

“You are quiet.”

It is a cry for help. Men ask that question because they are afraid that the person in the passenger seat has flown away to another place that is like bad cellphone coverage: not reachable. The husband is scared because his existence in society depends on his passenger. He puts his hand on her leg, then she regains her speech.

Keep your hands and eyes on the road. You don’t want us to get killed and make the kids orphans. Do you?

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more