No Laptops In This Restaurant

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I’m zero-tech. Clueless about technology. I know the basics about this digital typewriter and my phone, but one thing I know for sure is that what is in the laptop is also in the phone. Let’s call them digital twins.

That’s why I don’t understand digital peacocks. They must be banned from restaurants, taking up a table for four just to show off hardware. The first time I saw a digital peacock was in one of these coffee shops, film directors use for boy-meets-girl scenes. We were in line waiting for designer coffee with toppings, normally on cakes and Mama’s trifle.

A digital peacock came in and freed herself from two bags strapped on her shoulders. She opened the computer bag and took out a laptop and a media pad, then fished her handbag for a cellphone. She arranged the hardware on the table and finally went to place her order.

There’s a time and place for everything. Laptops were designed for home, the office and British Rail for aristocrats that travel daily to London, but live in the country. They ‘read’ their laptops on the train now, not newspapers. Media pads are for shop assistants for checking if they have in stock, Size 14 for those khaki shorts. The probably don’t, but that won’t stop me from asking.

Then there is the cellphone, that travels light but has the same artificial intelligence as the laptop. Digital peacocks take all the hardware to restaurants and other places of leisure, to show off. Like kids. ‘Look Ma, no hands.’

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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