My Husband's Family

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Your husband’s family vs your internet family.

Your husband’s family is called in-laws in Europe, Canada and U.S. Former British colonies have their own languages, so they call in-laws something else. They are called em-zini, in the Zulu language and it comes from the word u-muzi (a home).

Once upon a time, wherever the sun rises and sets, daughters grew up, became women, became wives, became mothers. In a nutshell, they went to build a home, the husband’s home. Emzini. Baby girls knew that from childbirth. That’s why they spent more time at home being taught how to cook and clean while their brothers roamed forests hunting, climbing trees, riding waves, diving in rivers, climbing mountains, learning stick fighting and fishing.

That’s stale news. Once upon a time is gone. The time is now. We must empower women because they are the ones left holding the baby literally, when the husband divorces them for a ‘fitness influencer’ that lifts weights on the internet. That brings us to in-laws. In the olden days, a girl got married to build a home among strangers. Times changed but a certain need persists. We want to be loved by as many people as possible. That’s why we are online every waking moment canvassing for more followers and subscribers.

In-laws used to be those followers and subscribers. Every mother wished one thing for her daughters: kind in-laws. Young brides adjusted adapted and accepted their fate. In-laws generally have a bad name because some of them are devil incarnate. What we seldom hear about are loving in-laws that embrace young brides and treat them like their own daughters. We don’t know even know the power daughters-in-laws have in traditional homes and it does exist. They are consulted in almost everything. Sisters-in-law flock to them for advice. Nieces and nephews have an extra person to love and mothers-in-law relinquish financial power to them.

Times changed. We live in the city, in box apartments that need dollars to maintain. “No. Your people cannot live with us. I want my kids to play video games in peace.”

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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