Weddings To Please The Internet

The parasols work like photographers' reflectors: brighten up faces of the couple and guests. They also mute the sun.

Summer time. Weddings all over the place. Sometimes friends are so excited by your upcoming wedding, they hijack the logistics. Meaning? They decide what needs to be done and when, under the guise of helping. In fact, let’s narrow it down to your best friend. Make it clear that she should not drown you with ideas. She must follow your lead.

1. First of all, your best friend should not assume that she will be the maid of honour. Maybe it’s something women should discuss long before men propose, to avoid bad blood if they don’t pick each other. You might want to make your cousin, a famous actress, the maid of honour at your wedding. It should be part of normal conversation, like men telling their friends that if they had money, they’ll buy a sports car (top down) to attract the ladies.

2. You are the one getting married, so your best friend should not bombard you with dresses she sees online. “This will be so good on you.” No. You should decide. She shouldn’t force certain dresses on you because she thinks they will garner, half a million views. You are getting married to your husband, not faceless online strangers.

3. Your best friend should not suggest a theme. That’s your decision to make, if you want a theme for your wedding at all. Unfortunately, the internet influences everything we do, but you must put your foot down and refuse to have a wedding in Dubai.

4. In fact, your friend should understand that only two people will take decisions about the wedding: you and your future husband, because there’s a budget in place. Parents on both sides also have wishes that must be considered.

5. Your best friend should understand that you are under no obligation to have two weddings. How? In Africa, marriage is between two families. In countries like Nigeria, there’s an ‘introduction’ where the man goes to woman’s family with his uncles and other male relatives. Her father asks his daughter if she knows these people. This is symbolized by a glass of palm wine. Then there’s the ‘white wedding’ which takes place in church. All this costs money and a real friend will not influence you to have both, if you and your future husband decide to have only the most important one: the traditional wedding.

 The bottom line is that your best friend should be a helper, not a dictator. “How can I help you?” Period.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

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