A Handbag Is Born

-

Don't even think about stealing this handbag I've created. It's copyrighted. I also put a code in there to stop factories in China from reproducing it for you. What do they say in the movies? "It's not a threat, it's a promise."

Like my creation? Clever are we? Yes I am, if I may say so myself. Seriously though, this unique handbag is inspired by small handbags carried by actresses, movie producers, registered businesswomen, after dark and cash-app  women, new wives of singers, actors, ball players and comedians with ten children and of course, ‘trust fund’ babies.

I’m not on a first name basis with these women for obvious reasons, but what I want to know is the capacity of these handbags. From the poverty ground where I’m standing, I think you can only put a cellphone, the car remote and lip gloss in there. I toyed with the idea of adding a small make-up bag, but ditched it. They are too small for that. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that these bags are nothing but a declaration of obese bank accounts, but I’m naive enough to believe a handbag must do its job: carry things around.

Birkin mini Hermes. Love me because of the price, $33 000. 

Talking about bank accounts, how much do these little babies cost?

Handbag

Dollars

Nigerian Money

S. African Money

Mini Birkin Hermes

$33,000

25,740,000 naira

R605,140

Fendi Peekaboo

$5,753

4,487,340 naira

R105,594

Chloe

$3,255

2,538,900 naira

R59,744

Chanel

$3,800

2,964,000 naira

R69,747

Valentino

$4,100

3,198,000 naira

R75,253

Small Christian Dior

$4,100

3,198,000 naira

R75,253

Warning. All these Italian and French designers should not steal my handbag idea and send it to factories in China to be produced ‘en masse.’ I will sue their you-know-what. I kid you not.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Blogger Without Borders

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more