No Money No Love

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Vintage car used for weddings.

Before Hollywood and its romantic dinners and engagement rings, magazines featuring the rich and famous, Nigerian movies, South African soap operas and Instagram, Africa had traditional wedding customs.

Step #1. There’s the introduction. Man and his father or uncles go to woman’s place with a keg of palm wine to state their intention. In recent times, it has been replaced by drinks from Scotland. Her father calls her. Do you know these people?

Step #2. Once she says yes, her parents prepare a list of things required by tradition. By tradition, we mean items symbolic of marriage. In the olden days, everything came from their land, the palm wine, yams, goats etc. The man’s family accepts the list and starts collecting them.

A SHORT PLAY

Obina has Baba Obina and Mama Obina worried. He shows no interest in getting married. Obina loves his parents and doesn’t want them to have heart trouble, so he prepares a list for them.

1. I don’t have money for romantic dinners every weekend.

2. I don’t have money for Valentine’s Day dinner and gifts.

3. I don’t have money for new clothes for her Instagram posts.

4. I don’t have money for my girlfriend’s birthday.

5. I don’t have money to entertain her friends in restaurants.

6. I don’t have money for Christmas presents.

7. I don’t have money to buy her bone straight wigs, which cost 250,000 naira (Nigerian money) or more.

8. I don’t have money for a diamond engagement ring.

9. I don’t have money to buy her a car. I use keke (motorized rickshaw) myself.

10. I don’t have money for 2 weddings: European and African.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Blogger Without Borders

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