Immigration and the Daughter-In-Law

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The daughter-in-law in jeans.

Culture is the offspring of a geographical area. It grows into trees and massive rivers because of geography. It survives because of spring water and wind that sustain it.

Circumstances change. Men and women who inhabited that geography move away to another geography like America, Australia, Britain, Brazil, Canada, France, Italy, Germany, New Zealand, Spain or South Africa.

Having said that, humans are conceited. They think culture will survive in strange lands despite the absence of water, wind and soil that kept it alive. That’s where the daughter-in-law comes in. She was born in Canada or America of immigrant parents. Maybe, she arrived as a little girl and her English or French is flawless. Meaning? It has no trace of the Hong Kong, Punjabi, Yoruba, Taiwan or Korean accent. She regards herself as 100% Canadian, American, Australian, British or German. She grows up and marries a guy because their parents speak the same foreign language.

There is nothing wrong with that I guess, but what is, is sons not telling parents that because the geography has changed, family dynamics have also changed. Parents fly to the new geography on the understanding that they will  exercise the same power they had in mother countries. Daughters-in-laws say it will not happen. Their kids, especially daughters will not experience what their paternal grandmothers went through.

Daughters-in-law don’t mean to be mean. It’s just that different geography means different power structures. Sons must make parents understand that before they uproot them from Asia, Africa and Europe. Otherwise they’ll look pathetic, following daughters-in-law in shopping malls, and silently disapproving their grand children sitting on Santa’s lap.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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