Call Me Jeff Bizos

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Invest for a rain day. No, invest to appropriate the world.

I must diversify my portfolio. It’s the capitalist way. Banks recommend it. It’s an open door policy to give investors more credit. The United Nations (UN) has its headquarters in New York City. They are not nations, just major banks using flags as camouflage.

They own the world because their clients diversify.

Apple: I’m tired of making phones and computers. I want to branch out into movies and music.

Banks: You go right ahead. Financing is ready when you are.

Amazon: I’m tired of selling used books online. I want to  push Macy’s out of business and be the amazon of selling: hair dryers, shaving kits, workout wear, computers you name it.

Banks: You go right ahead Jeff Bizos old boy. Financing is ready when you are.

Google: I’m tired of being used as a trampoline. All these dumb people don’t read. They just say “Google it.” I want to manufacture real hardware now. Phones.

Banks: You go right ahead. Financing is ready when you are.

Well! Financing is a piece of cake when money-men belong to the same golf club and religion, but that won’t stop me from asking banks for loans to diversify my portfolio. A loan officer agrees to see me without an appointment, transparency is the new buzz word.

“You don’t have a portfolio, only accounts with recurring red flags.”

“Red flags?”

“Insufficient funds.”

Talk about being picky, picky. I’ll go back when I win the Lotto (Sweepstakes).

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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