Bank Balance Ask Sylvester

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I went to the bank today to check some errors. Yes indeed. Who said computers don’t make errors? There are two balances in every bank account. The balance you think you ought to have, and the balance left over, after the gardener has done some weeding.

Why are banks such avid gardeners? Must they weed, when there are no weeds? This is bad news for me, because they end up yanking out baby flowers. Baby flowers? Yes, flowers in bud. I think they are prettier than full bloom. Flowers in bud remind me of pregnant women that are loved. Glowing, makes your skin shiver because we can never understand nature. Loved, because pregnancy doesn’t mean you are loved.

Love? We cannot talk about banks and love in the same sentence, unless you have Sylvester. He is the guy who counts money for rich folks. That’s why he’s the accountant. Millionaires don’t talk about their millions. ‘Ask Sylvester,’ that’s what they say. Even the family knows, so kids don’t waste time and talk to mom and dad. They go straight to Sylvester.

SYLVESTER: Persia, did you talk to your mom about buying a small cottage in Monaco?

PERSIA: No I didn’t. It’s a waste of time. I know what she’s say.

SYLVESTER: Ask Sylvester.

PERSIA: Oh! Sy, you have such a great sense of humour.

But does Sylvester know the bank’s street address? No he doesn’t because he understands the weeding. Therefore, he never drives there once a month to question the bank balance.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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