Joint Bank Account Expenses

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Motorcycle or insect? It doesn't matter. He likes it. That's the beauty of keeping individual bank accounts after marriage. You cannot change him. Don't court divorce because of a little insect.

Banks are up to no good. So what’s new?  You do an online transaction. The bank sends you a text message that it was successful and charge you 30 cents. It’s all legal, but try and buy summer shorts. The nice cashier says your card is declined. Why? Because your account is 30 cents short.

Breathe in, breathe out. Let me do that. It’s such a lovely day, I don’t want to lose it by thinking of bank shenanigans, which brings me to happily married life. It only works if there’s a joint bank account and individual accounts for him and her. That is quite easy because they had them when they were single and carefree.

The joint account is for home expenses: kids’ school fees, school uniform, hockey sticks, baseball mitts, that sort of of thing.  Individual accounts are for things they liked before getting married. The wife knows them because she clutched his back as his motorcycle cut the wind to an out-of-state convention for Hell’s Angels. He knows she travels to the Caribbean every summer to dance the limbo and swim in blue lagoons. He didn’t like the trips because he doesn’t understand those countries and has no desire to, but he loved her.

But, there should be a compromise after the marriage. They should take turns and decide where they take kids for vacation. Right?  It’s not that easy. That’s where the joint account kicks in. Questions first. Does the vacation destination fall under his interest or her interest, or is it a brand new family interest? If it’s brand new, the joint account will pay for it. If it’s his, he’ll go ahead and buy a new motorcycle and drive to the next Hell’s Angels’ summer meet, and she will fly to Bahamas with the girls. And the kids? Leave them with grandparents.

Some women’s interests are very easy. I’m a shoe person because I had two pairs growing up: one for school and one for church. Mama repaired them until the shoemaker raised his eyebrows. Then she would have a family meeting and explain that the owner of the shoes that were beyond repair, was going to get a new pair. We understood. I’m still understanding up to this day. My shoes cannot be part of any joint bank account.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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