Internet Polygamy

King Mswati, of eSwatini, a country in southern Africa reportedly has 11 wives.

The internet proves that men can never love one woman. They are married, but enjoy the Garden of Eden, in their phones and laptops. Ancient women knew it and had better things to do than worry about being 'cheated on me.' We can't blame modern women. They don't want to catch sexual diseases, die and make their kids orphans.

Polygamy was always upfront, starting with what can be called bridal showers. 

Ukucimela

Let me break it down for you. Ukucimela was like a bridal shower, but the bride-to-be travelled far and wide to her mother’s family and friends to collect gifts.

These were gifts she would use in her married life, in her own house. I’m saying her own because in traditional Africa people did not live in one-room apartments on the 20^th floor and terrace houses, like those in the television series Coronation Street.

A new bride was marrying a man who already had other wives and they all lived together on a piece of land with, let’s say six houses, denoting that the man had six wives.

The new bride was allocated her own house within the compound, that is why the sleeping mats, wooden utensils and pots were standard gifts.

In the olden days, a man’s wives got along because of that independence within the polygamous family. They all had their houses and the husband visited from time to time.

There was no ludicrous Hollywood notion of I LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU. Nobody cheated on anybody because it was understood that the man could not love one woman.

Kids from all six women grew up as brothers and sisters, and if you visit South Africa after the pandemic, you’ll find areas with a common surname because of men who had more than one wife and had many children.

Gifts and Symbolism

The engaged to be married bride received many sleeping mats (amacansi) also used as lounging mats. They symbolized many things.

Permanence. She would receive her husband on that mat and bore him children.

Hospitality. She would receive her co-wives on those mats, offer them something to eat and drink.

Managing the husband: Co-wives will sit on those mats and give her tips on how to manage the common husband, not love him, manage him.

Elders’ wisdom

When girls engaged to be married travelled to collect gifts, they also received valuable advice from older women. Which is? How to manage men.

You can never change the sun, just manage it. Men can never love one woman. Impossible! You believe Hollywood and celebrity Instagram that they can, at your own peril.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.