Women and Collective Pain
Women do not make the rules. That is why it’s such a pity they fight because of culture, religion and economic class when in times of war, men treat them as objects to be dehumanized. And I mean all wars, around the globe. Women are capable of being a united force. How? When a pregnant woman feels the baby coming in a public place, women instinctively take over and push men aside. They form a circle and help her deliver the baby safely, without asking for religious affiliation or language validation.
Ironic isn’t it? Women marry into cultural, religious and economic tradition. They resent it at first, but end up being its fierce enforcer, generation after generation, after generation. It’s women that divide girls into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ with bad girls being not worthy of the title, daughter-in-law.
It’s women that buy the bridal finery for reluctant brides, women that tell them not to cry it will spoil the make-up and women that tell them not to cry on the wedding night. It will be over in a minute. It’s women that prepare girls for atrocious mutilation in the name of tradition. It’s women who even try to perform it in Canada and U.S. where it is illegal.
Then comes war. Men in any war treat women the same. Abuse. That’s why women are the first, to run away when war breaks out, because if war is inhumane, it is triple inhumane to women. Women are not full human beings in most societies. It is worse in times of conflict. Actresses and sportswomen take a break from work to repair or preserve their mental health. Women that survive wars do not want to talk about it and ironically, their communities reject them and regard them as ‘tainted’ women.
The north of Nigeria is mainly Islam. It is dangerous for little girls. The group called Boko Haram kidnaps them from classrooms, rapes and makes them ‘wives’ in the name of religion. Men usually claim their wars are just. No war is just because women are dehumanized. All wars are against women.
Nonqaba waka Msimang
Executive Blogger
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