If I Was A Baby

-



I wish I was a baby. Toddlers are intelligent because they don’t pay taxes. They wail and holler because of boring parents, not because of presumed reasons. 

He is wet.

She must be hungry.

Toddlers cry because parents are predictable. Getting into the stroller is either good or bad news. Good news if it is going out of the apartment or house to interact with the world, bad news if it is going back home to spend another day fenced in, like convicted criminals.

They can have beautiful pink or blue rooms with toys bought from Toys “R” Us, before the business filed for bankruptcy, but toddlers want more, to touch and feel the world.  They itch for adventure. That is why they smile at strangers, extend their tiny hands to touch the bus window, point at dogs and run around the mall with mum in hot pursuit.

Toddlers are not born equal. Toddlers in the north of the world spend most of their time indoors staring at blowing snow while their counterparts down south in Africa drive their brothers and sisters crazy, because they want to follow them everywhere.  Rain is the only thing that stops the adventure.

Toddlers in Canada and the U.S. therefore look forward to Thanksgiving because it will be a break from boring parents.  There will be more hands to pick them up and marvel at their beauty. They will eat from someone’s arms, not chained to the chair. They will crawl around the house running away from cousins but they will stop at grandfather’s wheelchair, and think.

They will definitely think.

Nonqaba waka Msimang 

Executive Blogger

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more