Prescriptive Christmas Gifts

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What do you buy someone who has everything?

It’s a question we ask every Christmas. Some families have decided on money, to avoid bad blood caused by gifts. It hurts for the person who bought the ‘wrong’ gift because the last time he checked, you were into anything metallic, which was the dress code for Beyonce’s tour. How was he supposed to know you’ve switched back to denim?

Common sense is on hold because we get the cue from the rich and famous. If not, we could try something new, like buy the  husband gym membership at that health center near his office. The only problem is the interpretation. He might see it as a prescriptive gift. You are implying he is overweight. You’ve been comparing him to your male colleagues. Are you having an affair with a younger man? Is this the prescription for our lack luster marriage?

Maybe gym membership is too obvious. Can we try a stationery exercise bike? Maybe not, because the receiver will still think it’s prescriptive, to fix a weight problem. What might work is a real bicycle. Two people can ride their bikes together anytime, re-introduce juice into the marriage, if you see what i mean.

Prescriptive gifts are the best because they are based on home reality. The other person should be glad that the partner wants to fix the problem to save the marriage, that’s why she thought of a unique gift. You know what? Forget I even suggested it. Bad idea. I would also feel bad is I got a dental kit for Christmas: electrical toothbrush, six-pack of floss, teeth whitening cream and a large size of fluoride toothpaste.

What are you implying? I have bad breath?

Christmas gifts continue to ruin happy homes. What’s the solution then? Socks. They are not prescriptive at all. In fact, they denote relaxation, at home, with somebody.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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