Bed Bugs as Businessmen

-

Supply and demand is the foundation of business. We hate water, 
doing laundry and bathing, so bed bugs are set for life, in terms of blood supply.

Bed bugs are illiterate, but they are business savvy. 

They have effective strategies not taught at the Goethe Business School Frankfurt, Wits Business School Johannesburg or London Business School, Dubai campus.

1. Bed bugs don’t have competitors. There’s no demand for human blood, so there are no start-ups to put them out of business. We can’t count the Red Cross and other Blood Transfusion Services because they want only one pint. Bed bugs take a gallon.

2. Bed bugs do not declare profits. They are a secret society like drug cartels, diamond merchants in London England and cult societies like the police.

3. Bed bugs work 24/7, day and night. Yes during the day too, because we haven’t made our beds or changed sheets since the pandemic invasion last year.

4. Bed bugs don’t diversify. They have no intention of branching out to include human hair.

5. Bed bugs don’t keep armies of corporate lawyers because their business is legit.

6. Bed bugs don’t pay taxes because their business is not registered with the province/state.

7. Bed bugs are tech savvy. They’ve been online since day one. O.K. make it ‘on-body’, since the beginning of time.

8. Bed bugs do not rely on infrastructure because everything they need is on the human body. They don’t worry about power cuts, WIFI moods or potholes at the corner of Main and Burton.

9. Bed bugs have no loans to pay because they don’t borrow money to build office blocks like the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, UAE.  They have a tall structure already, the human body.

10. Bed bugs don’t have transport costs because humans don’t bathe before flying, so they take them to taxis, the plane, hotel and another country.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more