Nonqaba said ...

Keke Palmer plays Akeelah, a spelling genius. Akeela and the Bee, directed by Doug Atchison must be Miss Khumalo’s favourite film, if she is a student of cinema like me. She was my English teacher and subjected me to a lot of torture during what she called spelling and dictation. Try spelling hippopotamus at the tender age of eleven.  I could not tell Ma that she hit my hand with a cane because she would have taken her own stick without knowing the merits of the case.  ”She didn’t punish you enough.” My favorite spelling joke is when the teacher wanted the class to write a sentence with the word fastidious.  This is what one student wrote.  “My father knows the meaning of fastidious! ” It is no laughing matter. Cellphones and text messages have fractured the English language.  I’m sure the German, French and  Spanish are also in tears.  I’m not ignoring my language isiZulu.  It’s only because friends and family send me messages in real Zulu.  It is just not done.  How do you write  Asi

Pic: Nonqaba waka Msimang. I’m grumpy. I’m always complaining about how life served me sand instead of salmon, but it stops immediately when I see blind people smiling. The trio I saw walking on the footpath above the river one morning, reminded me how ungrateful I am. They were blind. It was a brilliant sunny day with trees in their lime green finery and the river laughing at them from below. ‘ Time is running out fall leaves. You’ll do exactly that, fall from grace. ’ said the envious river, that shuffles in the same spot. Ungrateful because I didn't know how the three walkers realized it was a beautiful day, how they got dressed, took their white sticks with little balls, left home and came to the open gym. The river path and the whole park is like an exercise center with walkers, joggers, rude cyclists, parents with strollers and people walking dogs. Ungrateful, that’s what I am. This feeling intensified when I saw the trio walking down the stairs from the eating area to the ri

'He's my brother,' says a song. I forgot the singer. Shedeur and Shilo Sanders. Thanks Sports Illustrated for the Coach Prime honours. Really appreciated. Your magazine supplemented the American football education I got from my main teacher Tik Tok @thaddboii. I thought NIL was a U.S. submarine or something. He schooled me well. Below is the o ld blog about my football ignorance 8 September 2023. Why am I writing about American football, a sport I know nothing about, except for the poor man running with the ball and others hot on his heels? I blame ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith for this mess, courtesy of the internet conveyor belt. 1. He made comments - as per his job description - about how Boston Celtics fired Ime Udoka, their basketball coach. 2. He was misquoted because the internet diatribe regards everything you say as a buffet. It takes one shrimp and runs with it. 3. I pointed out that he was quoted out of context, then I ended up getting Stephen A. Smith stuff. One of th

We want to be loved, we need to be loved, we need things that make other people love us, like credit cards and they come in different colors. They are status symbols and not means of payment because they are old technology, dinosaurs actually.  All your accounts are linked electronically, including credit cards, so you don’t need the plastic.  The ATM at the mall, phone or computer asks you about accounts.  From which account do you want to make the payment, from savings or chequing?  Even table card readers, waiters bring to the table also have the credit card option, if you are paying by credit card.  You just press credit. All that could be in one card, let’s say your debit card.  You don’t need credit cards whatever colour: gold, black, platinum or cobalt blue.  Electronic banking made cheques redundant.  It also made credit cards dinosaurs. But colour matters O.K.  There are lovers to impress, business associates to impress, ex-wives to impress, waiters to impress, even political

The Republican Party as an entity, will be an accomplice to the desecration of the Capitol on 6 January 2021, if Donald Trump becomes the 2024 presidential nominee. What are you inferring? I’m neither an English professor nor a lawyer so I went online for the legal definition of inference. “An inference is a deduction of fact, based on ‘inductive reasoning’ using logic, reasonability and human experience.” I’m inferring that based on Trump’s acts and omissions the Republican Party did not know then, but know now. There are two facts involved here. One unit of the Republican Party (ex U.S. President) executed acts and omissions that led to the attack on an institution owned by American people. The second fact is that despite knowing that, the Party as an entity might go ahead and choose that one unit as the 2024 candidate. That is why I’m inferring that it will be tacit approval of those acts and omissions. What are you implying?   Implying is more general. It is an opinion, based on su

But why? Why risk your political future for Donald Trump? I don't understand. Hopefully, Liz Cheney’s book will shed some light on this.  Comedians like Donald Trump. They make jokes about his number one fan: himself. They say what you see, is what you get. Why then, would players in the Republican Party choose a losing team, a sinking ship without a life vest? Because they don’t think it’s going under. Politics is for individual gain, not for love for country. Trump is a class act when it comes to that. But what does a senator or congresswoman hope to gain, by supporting a man who is his own  Pied Piper of Hamelin ? A seat in the state legislature for one, which leads to latent wealth and the possibility of going up the GOP corporate ladder. Political ambition yes, but it’s navigating precarious waters if there’s only one captain, Trump. It’s an ambition that doesn’t realize there’s a breeze in Arizona. Supporting a man who is in the game just for himself leads to partial blindnes

Zulu proverb: You bend a reed while it's still wet. Meaning?  Teach kids manners and life skills when they are still young. Friends don’t speak to each other for years because no one wants to bend on an issue. Both parties feel they are right, which is impossible. Ask nature. There’s dew in the morning and the sun comes up and dries it.  Some rivers begin as a trickle down a mountain and end up as a waterfall. Refusal to bend or compromise leads to brother not talking to sister, fights in sports, divorce or  even war. Bend is  goba   in Zulu. It is also a common surname. Go-ba . You say the first part like got and the second like baba. At the Olympics,  runners in the 100 meter race bend on the start line, hands on the ground, then they burst out. Grandparents don’t walk straight. They bend a bit. Welders apply heat to bend steel. Beautiful landscapes are breath taking because of bends, twist and turns. Politicians bend their demands all the time, for the interest of the party or i

LeSean McCoy, American NFL star and one of the SPEAK show panelists.  He got his nickname   'Shady' from his mother. We all have family nicknames. What's yours? Kids change their names to be accepted by other kids on the block or school. It’s not uncommon for parents to open the door and find some boys looking for G-Man. ‘Nobody by that name. Sorry, wrong house .’ ‘It’s O.K. mom. They are looking for me,’  says Grayson over his mother’s shoulder. Sometimes it’s not intentional. Nicknames are prompted by what kids excel in, good or bad. Someone good in basketball might end up with a nickname like Point Guard.  A schoolboy that likes girls might be baptized Smoothie  by his age mates. Sometimes nicknames live forever. In some instances, owners grow up and discard them because they find them embarrassing. Kids with names that are not English shorten their names or shortened by other kids. Yoruba names for example. It is one of the languages widely spoken in Nigeria and has bee

Young kids don’t understand why they should go to their room when they want to be with us in the same room. They disturb us because we are on the phone, talking to other people in other rooms, in other homes, in other countries. If only we can switch off the phone for an hour so that we can play laundry. You’ll be the washing machine, mummy will be the dryer . What we regard as work, is play to kids, but they are learning. Because they always ‘help’ mummy, they know that you don’t mix white shirts with black or red ones. They know that you empty pockets. Who knows? You might find $10. Folding laundry is a lesson in road construction. Pillow cases and towels are easy, but fitted sheets are like laying internet cables. When kids are in the same room with us, they know how to empty the grocery cart and put food in respective places like the vegetable tray in the fridge. It takes longer, but it makes them smile when we approve. The freezer section might be too high for them, so we ‘help’ t

Religious wars are caused by books. Mine is superior than yours, or mine justifies this action. Sometimes it is different interpretation of the same book. Photo: art installation, The Forks. Thou shall not kill comes from the bible, if I remember my British education correctly. We had a subject, Religious Studies  to wash away our barbaric existence of getting everything we needed from the land, not the store. Thou shall not kill is also the root of the crime called murder in Christian-based countries. However, it depends on who took the life of another human being. It’s murder if a friend kills a friend or a business partner kills a partner who swindled him. It’s not murder if the government kills. Singapore and Thailand do not tolerate drug smuggling, but some African men and women still work as drug mules. They are either executed through lethal injection, or they are injected with drugs then deported to die at home. Most countries use the electric chair. Saudi Arabia believes in cu

Remember your last job interview, two years or ten years ago? They asked you about people skills. “I’m great with people. I’m the definitive team player.” Of course you lied, like all of us. You had too. That’s how you got the job. Some workers are really good with people. Unfortunately, we end up abusing them. Someone who always gets coffee for everyone is not stupid. He loves people. That’s why he doesn’t ask for money when he distributes the coffee he got from the mall cafe. Other workers are nice because they are new. They want acceptance. Pseudo bosses like abusing nice workers. Your workplace probably has that person that loves giving orders. The minute the boss’ back is turned, she becomes the proxy manager and targets team players in the office. Nice workers sometimes end up being a trampoline. We ask them if we could swap days off. The nice person agrees once, then word gets around that he’s single so his time is flexible. His marital status doesn’t have to do with anything. H

Again? I found a coffee bean that escaped the grinder. I pay for my favourite blend, and the coffee shop grinds it. I’m writing this piece because I can’t ignore it anymore. There’s always a coffee bean that escapes. It’s a reminder that life is a dichotomy. We are born alone, even twins, but live with other people like two colorful birds on a tree; a colony of ants; a pride of lions or mama chicken with her brood pecking away for food in the yard. Trying to live outside the group usually brings misery on both sides. Example. I throw away these coffee beans that escape the grinder. They are useless, because I cannot put them in a coffee maker to produce a cup of coffee. But it will be myopic to completely discard the value of the solitary bean. It’s there for a reason. We know the classic problem. Parents who are doctors want kids to be doctors. The same with basketball and football players, but there are some parents who will drive kids to the community center, if they are interested

Where ignorance is bliss, tis folly to be wise , says the proverb. Most married women know things, but feign ignorance. Some hit the roof and call husbands unprintable names. Others want to change the prenuptial agreement on the spot, to heal a wounded heart. Women before us knew things, but stayed to build a home for the kids. They knew their mothers’ advice by heart. You cannot change the sun. Our grandfathers. This blog is about prescription drugs. My faith in the medical profession took a nosedive the first time I learned about salesmen that visit doctors’ offices, with samples of drugs produced by pharmaceutical companies. In fact, it was a movie and the lead character was the salesman.  You need a smooth tongue for that job. I was disappointed because I thought doctors prescribed the most effective drug possible. Little did I know that it is the best marketed drug that ends up on a prescription. From where I’m standing, a salesman is not a certified doctor. He’s a man with a brie

Do tech companies have community outreach programs for seniors in old age homes? Probably not, and we are using Google as a generic term for tech companies.  They can sponsor tech staff for people in care. Homes for the aged should have technology staff on a part time basis to help residents with the internet, their phones and all online related activity. Why? Because kids and grandchildren are very busy and don’t have time to teach them online dangers and benefits. The main reason for hiring computer experts for senior citizens in care, is plain reality: we do personal business online whether we like it or not. 1. the government pays their pension and other entitlements online. 2. doctors and dental appointments are booked and confirmed online. 3. banks send statements via email. Pre-approved is the buzz word for almost anything. You can be pre-approved to buy a house or vehicle. 4. service providers sometimes send things in PDF. What is PDF? Seniors who were in business before retire

Freedom to practise or not practise religion. One of the joys of living in Canada and the U.S. is absence of religion. What? Yes, they are religion free, but also offer citizens the option of practising their religion. It’s the best of both worlds. Example. One summer, a girl on the bus started stripping two stops before we got to the last stop, the shopping mall. She took off the head and face covering, stepped out of the long skirt she was wearing and stuffed them in her backpack. She entered the mall as just another teen wearing ripped jeans and a baseball cap. Teenagers do that all the time. Some leave home wearing school uniform and change into street or sexy clothes depending on where they are going. The girl on the bus changed for religious reasons. She left home as a representative of religion. She entered the mall as a religion-free individual. It’s something immigrants seldom acknowledge as one of the disadvantages of living in Canada and the U.S. They left their countries fo

Ryan Staub, Colorado Buffaloes quarterback against Utah. Ryan Staub was the quarterback in the Colorado Buffaloes game against Utah, because Shedeur Sanders is all battered and bruised from being sacked throughout the season.  Ryan Staub said “I was not hit. I was not hurt. ” He was fully protected, but Shedeur was left bare intentionally, to be shipwrecked (sack-wrecked). Call me a sparrow, a little bird that likes to eavesdrop on anything related to Coach Prime, the Colorado Buffaloes’ football Head Coach. Like all birds, I’m sitting on an electricity wire, observing all the shenanigans to break Deion Sanders. No. I’m not imagining things, I see a lot up in here, and I cannot believe what folks are up to in their STOP DEION mission impossible. 1. Coach Prime had barely changed from his Jackson State sweats to Colorado’s black and gold colors when concerned citizens asked when he was leaving. Ah! Ahhhh! Can you imagine your cousin opening the door to let you in and asks you:  When are

Photo Credit: online pic. Foreigners who want to live permanently in America will go to any length to get the green card. Fake marriages are the most popular even though the government, through its Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is aware of it. It has its own tricks of finding out whether the ‘husband and wife’ living in the same house or apartment are really married. Hollywood has made many movies about it. I did not understand the desire to live in the U.S. then and do not understand it now. I couldn’t wait to hop on a plane back to Lesotho after graduation from Columbia’s J. School, even though I learned so much from New York NY, the state and the city. It is the ideal place to understand the world, because the world lives there and I don’t mean the United Nations building. Which brings me to the green card. I’ve never seen it but it is green I suppose. How did they choose the colour? Dumb question because most passports are green. There must be a white passport somewhere tha

Donald Trump is the front runner in the race to represent the Republican Party in the 2024 presidential election. I heard it from the horse’s mouth. Him. His lawyers also remind judges about this pre-ordained result, although I don’t understand its relevance in the justice system. Maybe he believes it’s a foregone conclusion because he nailed Texas. If he does become the nominee, nothing can be done. It will be the will of Americans that carry the Republican card. But what if he doesn’t win the nomination to run in 2024? Does the Republican Party have a Plan B? I’m just asking because you don’t keep your spare car keys inside the car. Your house keys are with your sister or a trusted neighbor, in case you lock yourself out. Vehicles have spare tires in fact, it is mandatory. Even planes have videos showing us what to do in case of an impending plane crash. Republicans are also poultry farmers and understand the wisdom of not putting all your eggs in one basket. Therefore, the Party sho

Federal courts in the U.S. do not allow television cameras for a reason. The courtroom is a workplace, to determine who is aggrieved, what happened where and when, what law was broken and determine punishment. It is not an entertainment arena. Television is entertainment. Besides, even if camers are permitted for Trump’s trials, it will not increase the public’s understanding of the legal system. Why? The court room is like a foreign country. It has its own language understood by legal natives, its own customs and tradition and weapons (the gavel). There’s a chunk of time dedicated to procedure and viewers will find it boring, should Trump’s trials be televised. That’s why crime or reporters that cover courts for their networks, are so important. They sift for us. They give us the main points: what attorneys said, what prosecutors said, not the ceremonial court procedures. Sometimes, judges also call these two adversaries for some private tongue-lashing. What happens if television came

When I was a full time journalist, I always prepared 10 questions for the interview, whether it was radio, television, newspapers or magazines. I had producers and editors that liked the idea. In one radio station, my producer was always amused when politicians begged to be on our daily morning show. It was that popular. How did you make him answer that question?  I used to get that a lot and listeners did not believe me when I said it was in the ten questions. Politicians have media advisors, who know that it’s not a good idea to reject controversial questions. The list of questions is like a coin. It has two sides: good for you, the person doing the interview and your guests. 1. Guests are comfortable because they know the line of questioning. They think there are 10 questions but the interviewer knows it’s just one. 2. Because they’re comfortable, guests can reveal unknown personal or business mini secrets. This contributes to the interviewer’s  popularity. 3. Interviewer can antici

Television networks that want Donald Trump’s trials to be televised say public interest justifies the presence of cameras. Not necessarily. That interest is limited. Attorneys, law students, political parties, voters who love defiant politicians like him and those that hate the debasing of America might be glued to TV, should his trials be televised. Networks are also looking at numbers, but I hope they are not thinking sports because the ‘public’ interest in sports is well-defined. It is tangible. It can be quantified. It’s not a matter of the fisherman throwing a net, and hope for a good catch. It is ticket sales, butts on seats. Fans that have season tickets are unicorns. They don’t want to miss a Miami Heat game. That interest is more pronounced in Canada  because of Toronto Raptors. There’s no other NBA team, so the interest is both love for the game and love for country. Interest in sports is so total, it ends up in strange bedfellows. It was evident when Deion Sanders ‘Coach Pri

“I’m day off tomorrow.” Cellphones do not talk. Therefore they cannot confide in us when they would like to have a day off. We switch them off before we go to bed, but that is not a day off. It’s a normal natural break because we feel sleepy and hit the sack, unless we are nurses and security guards. They have day and night shifts. Cellphones would love to have a day off when two people are getting married, especially when evening comes and the honeymoon begins. Switching off their phones for two days, will be a testimony of true love. Cellphones would also love to have a day off on Sundays, because there are more people at home. They can talk to each other the whole day, washing the car, preparing lunch and talking to kids and grandparents. We sometimes forget that not everybody works 9-5, five days a week. Others work over the weekend and Monday is their day off. That is why they would love to give their phones a day off on the same day, so that they can sleep the whole day without i