Denying Husbands Man Food

“Your husband came to see me.”

“Grandma. Why does he always complain to you?”

“Because I don’t have a phone.”

“What did I do this time?”

“Denied him his food.”

“I always make breakfast and dinner.”

“You denied him his man food, for a wig?”

“A wig! Grandma, it is bone straight hair, it will go down my back like this, (pretends to be a white woman tossing her hair).

“You deny your husband his food because of bones?”

“Grandma all my friends are rocking it.”

“Continue starving him. There are many fish in the sea.”

 Obviously her husband is not going to look for it outside. There are too many sexual diseases bubbling silently, old and new ones created by internet secrecy and experimentation. This little play is a reflection of a common problem for all families, north south east and west. Which is? Irrelevance.

The physical family, that shares a roof, a dinner table and a bathroom is irrelevant now. The internet is the current family. Advice that used to come from parents, aunts and uncles and grandparents is available online: from who to fall in love with, verifying his financial status, nudging him towards the marriage goalpost, type of engagement ring, wedding dress and the wedding venue.

The internet also determines how homes are run including denying husbands sex. That is why they bring home that plastic red rose from time to time and go to expensive restaurants with nothing to eat. We're still hungry, so we open the fridge when we get home and warm left-overs. Restaurants are a must because we take selfies and send them to the internet to show our ‘real’ family that we are loved.

This might seem inconsequential, but it will have long term effects if more men and women say they’ll never get married. Canada and Europe are facing a population crisis because women complained about certain things. The government and industry ignored them. Women remember the irritation on employers’ faces when they hear the statement: I’m pregnant. Solution? Women in Canada and Europe have one or two kids, max.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.