Baby Talk They Don't Like It

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"Yes Mr. President, we see eye to eye." Former U.S. President Barack Obama,
 was very good with baby real intelligence (not artificial intelligence).

Artificial Intelligence (AI) cannot sneak into a one year-old baby’s mind, siphon off information and sell it as data packets. What a relief! Babies have their own AI. It is on top of the head, that soft part that is always ticking. Put your hand on your head. Dead. No ticking there, died years ago from government propaganda, advertisements and religious dogma.

You must be kidding? I kid you not. Babies have AI, that’s why they don’t understand your baby talk: tshu tshu tshu tshu or ne ne ne ne. They just stare at you and give you complimentary names like moron or cabbage head. They want you to speak to them in languages they inherited from their parents. How? Mum and dad did not know each other. Dad made a move. They went out on a date. It was not enough. Voila! They got married and mum got pregnant, all because of talking. In the case of Canada, the baby will understand French if mum is from Quebec and English if dad is from Saskatchewan.

Babies don’t like baby talk because it presupposes they are dumb. Try talking normally about why they should start potty training as soon as possible. Cost of living has gone up, so has the cost of diapers. They can relate to that so their eyes light up. They even make some grunts, which means baby AI is in full mode. It is such a wonderful experience talking to babies. No crying for daddy or big sister, just a productive conversation between a worm-infested adult mind and baby AI as pure as rain.

Remember. No baby talk. It’s boring. “Talk to us in all world languages” said the potty-trained babies.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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