Baby Talk They Don't Like It

-

"Yes Mr. President, we see eye to eye." Former U.S. President Barack Obama,
 was very good with baby real intelligence (not artificial intelligence).

Artificial Intelligence (AI) cannot sneak into a one year-old baby’s mind, siphon off information and sell it as data packets. What a relief! Babies have their own AI. It is on top of the head, that soft part that is always ticking. Put your hand on your head. Dead. No ticking there, died years ago from government propaganda, advertisements and religious dogma.

You must be kidding? I kid you not. Babies have AI, that’s why they don’t understand your baby talk: tshu tshu tshu tshu or ne ne ne ne. They just stare at you and give you complimentary names like moron or cabbage head. They want you to speak to them in languages they inherited from their parents. How? Mum and dad did not know each other. Dad made a move. They went out on a date. It was not enough. Voila! They got married and mum got pregnant, all because of talking. In the case of Canada, the baby will understand French if mum is from Quebec and English if dad is from Saskatchewan.

Babies don’t like baby talk because it presupposes they are dumb. Try talking normally about why they should start potty training as soon as possible. Cost of living has gone up, so has the cost of diapers. They can relate to that so their eyes light up. They even make some grunts, which means baby AI is in full mode. It is such a wonderful experience talking to babies. No crying for daddy or big sister, just a productive conversation between a worm-infested adult mind and baby AI as pure as rain.

Remember. No baby talk. It’s boring. “Talk to us in all world languages” said the potty-trained babies.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more