Personal Tech Guy is My Goal

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Establishing shot. If making a movie, I can't have a talking scene here. You won't hear what they are saying. Give that boom pole a rest. Dialogue scenes are for close ups and medium shots.

I need a personal tech guy, whose only job would be to disable commands from my devices. I don’t like machines telling me what to do. I went out early this a.m. to shoot some pics before the sun misbehaves. I take after great Nollywood movie directors like Chidi Anyanwu Chidox. They shoot after the rain, early morning and in the evening, when the sun has gone to bed.

I digress. Where was I? Yes. My personal tech guy. I was not a happy photographer this morning. I was busy taking pics and the phone kept giving me instructions: ‘take a better pic.’ It is talking to the wrong person because I know photography basics. I move around, shoot from at least three angles. There’s always an establishing shot, which ‘establishes’ where I am: carnival or protest march. I get medium and close up shots if I can. Close ups are not always possible because I don’t know the subjects (people), unless they indulge me and pose.

What’s your point? My point is that the phone must not tell me what to do because I have a wide choice of pics to choose from. It’s not like mugshots. They are point and shoot, thanks-very-much Fani Willis for indicting me, Donald Trump and 18 co-defendants for trying to steal Georgia’s 2020 election.

My tech guy will also go into this computer and disable all artificial intelligence. Why? I’m a brick layer. I place words on top of each other, join them with cement and build a blog for you, dear reader. Artificial intelligence corrects me when it thinks I’m not wrong. The nerve! I know grammar. I tweak it deliberately, so that my readers can smile a bit and get mad a bit. Get my drift?

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Blogger Without Borders

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