Moved To Yellowknife For Him

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Waiting to Exhale, directed by Forest Whitaker, based on Terry McMillan’s book, has a character that moved to Arizona to be with her boo (darling) who happened to be a married man. Moving to another city or country to join the man you love is supposed to be a testimony of that love, ‘I can’t live without you’ situation, but it’s a gamble.

In Firefly Summer, Rachel Fine, a designer of hotel interiors leaves New York to follow Patrick O’Neil who went back to Ireland, a country his father left in disgrace. The author is Maeve Binchy, my first Irish writer. I stumbled upon four of her novels, while cleaning a cousin’s apartment who was not feeling well. All Binchy’s books have a mistress. Some of them uproot themselves to follow men, with the hope it will lead to some permanence .

It seldom works because of two things: the cost involved in changing zip codes including hauling companies to move your things from Queens N.Y. to Boulder Colorado and reality. Reality? Yes indeed. The reality is seeing his true colors. He doesn’t abuse you or anything. He just changed the lyrics of the song, because the understanding was that you’ll live together in Boulder. On second thought, he wants you to have your own place while he sorts out some things. Like what? A divorce will be too devastating for his daughters right now. They are still too young.

Moving, a change of address is mentally and physically exhausting. We stay in frustrating jobs and relationships because we fear moving, uprooting ourselves. How then do we change cities and countries for love? We do actually, for love we find online. On the internet? Yes maam. Some women are brave.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

 

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