My Son Must Be Like Me
It has been called tradition or legacy for as long as I can remember. Queens had to give birth to sons, who will be king one day. Chiefs want wives to give birth to sons who will inherit the administration of villages. Tobacco and beer industrialists want sons to keep money in the family.
How many ‘Dad was a cop, I’m also a cop’ movies have you watched? Pastors want sons to be pastors. Actors want sons to continue the film dynasty. Example? Bollywood, the biggest film industry in the world. I wonder how they are coping with YouTube, which has put production tools in my hands and yours.
In America, sports is the road to riches and fathers want sons to follow them to the basketball court, football stadium and baseball mounds. It happened way back when, before television and the internet brought it to our attention. Sons adore their fathers naturally, so it can be a smooth transition from picking up the ball when they were little, to actually throwing it when they grow up.
Dad was the first coach. Some sons realize at an early age that their fathers are larger than life, the best in a particular sport. It makes them love dad even more, but also to admit they can never be that great. Some tell fathers that it is not their calling. Others grin and bear and exercise harder. “You can do it son,” the father keeps encouraging. What the father omits is that the son must keep his name alive, the son of. What does the T.V. series song say? Fame. I wanna live forever?
Most sons do deliver, live dad’s dream even if it drains them mentally and body wise. There are some who don’t and choose what they are comfortable with, or what they’ve always wanted in life. Are fathers disappointed? Do fathers love them less? Definitely not, because blood is thicker than water. What hurts sons the most, is the realization that dad’s passion is thicker than the shared blood. Do mothers have a say when they see psychological and health problems?
Nonqaba waka Msimang
Blogger Without Borders
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