Never Returning to Place of Birth

Holidays are synonymous with home, but it depends on where it is. Some parents die silently every Christmas because of kids that vowed never to go back.  For most people, home is where they were born, with the oak tree with a swing. That is the movie version. Great grandparents (if they are still alive) might have painful stories about bodies dangling from oak trees.

There is a good reason why we don’t return to the birth state or province. People born and raised in Queens, N.Y. might have left many years ago to move to Atlanta. They had kids, but they grew up and left Atlanta for Texas, never to return. Why would someone born and raised in Florida move permanently to Colorado? There’s a good reason. There’s always a good reason. Rich Canadians retire in Florida, where they rent or own property not far from the beach. Why? Most of Canada is cold, but basic health care is free. That is a big deterrent for Canadians entertaining moving to the U.S. That’s why they stay put.

There’s a reason why we don’t go back to our roots. We had a friend in Toronto who never went back to his country, in Africa. Why? I can’t afford gifts. He said he could rustle up some money for gifts for the immediate family, but neighbors and other people would expect some too. “What did you bring for me, from across the seas?” We laughed, but we knew what he was talking about. Unexplained entitlement.

PARENTS LEAVE KIDS RETURN

Canada, England, Australia and the U.S. are immigrant countries. Parents go there for better business opportunities. Others run away to save daughters from ‘tradition’ that treats women as objects. Time passes. Kids grow up and start looking for their identity.

They return to the same countries parents left for survival. The movie industry for example. Actresses born in the U.K. have a better future in Nigeria, where their parents came from, because they speak English ‘properly.’ They have a disadvantage over actresses who speak local languages like Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa and other languages. The mother tongue always affects the way we speak a foreign language. British born Nigerian actresses seldom make it in England, so they move to Nigeria.

Conclusion: We have a lot of advice for people who never go back to where they were born. Let bygones be bygones. Forgive and forget and go back this Christmas. A lot of water has gone under the bridge for some people. They do not go back.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger