I Don't Want Your Friends Here

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Married Women: I don’t like your friends. They are still single.

Married Men: I don’t like your single friends. You’re a married woman now.

It’s easier for women to discard friends when they get married because of advice they get from home. Mothers warn them that priorities and allegiances change. It’s different with men. They might not want the wife’s single classmates for a variety of reasons.

1. They might bump into each other in bars and other hang-outs frequented by single men and women. It’s awkward for wife’s friends to see him there, without his wedding ring and with a woman with a weave as long as a horse’s tail. He doesn’t want them at his home because they might expose him.

2. The husband might not want the wife’s friends because he is hitting on one of them. They still wear clothes that turn him on, clothes he stopped his wife from wearing. “You can’t wear these things. You married now.”

3. His wife’s friends might know that he still visits the ‘other woman’ who refused to marry him because she knew she could never change him. Not all women want to get married, when the writing is on the wall that they will be heading towards a precipice. 

A married woman might not like his friends, but there’s nothing she can do about it. All she can do is keep her fingers crossed that he comes home safe and sound but should not stay up, waiting for him, like in Nigerian movies. “I was worried.” Don’t even try and report him to his mother.

“He’s a grown ass man. Why would you sit up and wait for him? I never waited for his father. I went to bed with my kids.”

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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