Eat Your Veggies

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Yes indeed. Parents have been saying that since the beginning of time. We should qualify that though. Certain religions don’t have that problem because they don’t eat meat, veggies only. What vegetable do you hate the most? For me, it’s asparagus.

The bakery at The Forks has an arrangement with local farmers. That’s why it’s possible to find fruit and vegetables long after the farmers’ market has closed for the season. During the summer, I bought two pumpkins that belong to the Guinness Book of Records for being ‘un-pumpkin.’ That is where I found this asparagus. It’s no secret I don’t like it for several reasons.

1. I’m not a cow. I don’t eat grass, even if it’s thick like asparagus.

2. I’m not on a diet. I’ve tried losing weight several times, but I get dizzy when I’m hungry.

3. I have a choice now because I have some money to buy food. I won’t when I’m dead. I might find asparagus on a plate, with Satan threatening to fork me to death if I don’t eat it. ‘It’s good for you.’ Satan is quite dumb. I’m dead already so he can’t kill me.

4. I don’t know how to pronounce asparagus.

5. Restaurants intimidate us with the price. They dress it up with some strips of cold meat with an Italian name, sprinkle some nuts and slap $20 on it. It’s called an appetizer. That’s redundant. The appetite made me leave home to come here.

Asparagus What Next?

I did not buy it for research purposes. The bakery claims it’s organic but I can’t ascertain that because I don’t know how asparagus drunk from chemicals tastes like.

I bought it for culinary purposes. Its DNA is complicated though, because the heads look soft like a woman who just left the salon, whereas the stems are intimidating, straight like a street pole. I might steam the vegetable for two minutes, then chop the heads and fold them in an omelette. Give cheese a rest so to speak. I might chop the stubborn stems and drop them in a bean or chickpea  soup. I might add them in a pot when brown rice is left with five minutes, cooking time. Wish me luck!

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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