Men Inability to Perform

There comes a time in a man’s life when the battery dies, and he can no longer satisfy his wife. Most women turn a blind eye because they must keep the home alive, at all costs. Mothers all over the world insist on it. Kids need a home. Despite that, some men transfer the anger to the wife, beating her black and blue and accusing her of seeing other men, not realizing he is exposing himself. Why on earth must he talk about other men?

Men and women are trained differently about the mattress. Women are taught to always please the man, be attractive for him, be willing and ready for him. Men, on the other hand, are not warned about the inevitable, when the Energizer bunny loses it energy. Some men blame the woman and approach other women, preferably younger ones. They might realize the problem but tolerate it because of material benefits, like the apartment, a car and monthly allowance.

In traditional societies, men had elder brothers, uncles, cousins, fathers and grandfathers to confide in. Not in cities. They are on their own. Another reason is secrecy. Friends in the office might talk and keep quiet when he approaches. Gossip? Only women gossip. You don’t know half the story. A man’s inability to perform might be work-related, something bad that pulls down his soul. Resigning is not an option because of the mortgage and kids in top schools.

Wives might help their husbands get things back on track, but not when they turn into lions and maul them with the: ”I’m the man.” In one case, a couple could not have a baby. They were very successful, running grocery and fast food stores in most parts of the neighborhood. She confided in her aunt and the older woman suggested a long holiday. She got pregnant and they have a son.

I’ve read books about church therapy before marriage. Do pastors mention what to do when this occurs? Probably not, because men are raised to be always standing. They must tackle problems head on, so fathers never advise them about the possibility of not being able to stand up, and how to solve it.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger