Over Weight Friends

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Friends always come in clusters. Your friend is overweight. It is easier for the cluster to gossip about her predicament, than cautioning her.

Cluster members are justified for not telling her that she has a health problem. They fear repercussions. They don’t want to ruin the friendship. They don’t want to appear judgmental. They are not in perfect physical shape themselves.

It starts with the judgement. How do you determine your friend is overweight? Is there an objective measurement, like saying the sun is hot, and ice is cold?

No, maybe not, but there are signs and the affected friend might admit them. She shops every time the last overweight size doesn’t fit. It might be difficult taking a walk with her because she cannot walk a whole block without getting tired.

True friendship doesn’t mock, it guides. If the cluster loves the overweight friend, they can devise ways of helping her face the problem head on. Cluster members can take her along to sports shops, where they buy their tight leggings, cropped shorts and other gym gear.

The cluster can refuse to go shopping for her next overweight size. It can bring up BEFORE and AFTER photos, and tell her that she is more beautiful in the BEFORE pics.

Shock treatment is the last resort. The cluster can show her photos of women who could not come out of the door because they were too big. We are not perfect, but over weight is just that, over weight.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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