Weddings No Phones Allowed

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You call this an engagement ring? I want something big, that will look good on my Instagram page and YouTube videos. This stone from Botswana, is one of the world's biggest diamonds.

Spring is around the corner.  Love is in the air, crooned a singer somewhere. Hotels are busy preparing for summer weddings.

Wedding planners love this season so that they can make some cash, but they are also offering unusual legal services. There’s a third party to the marriage, the cellphone. That’s why things must be written down.

“Are you going to sign a social media pre-nuptial contract? Says the wedding planner, with the foot-long nails.

“Excuse me?” (says man and woman).

“Yes.  A prenup about how you guys are going to conduct your marriage on the internet.  O.K. let me break it down for you.”

Social Media Prenup Contract

1.      No posting of wedding photos. Guests, switch off your phones.

2.      No posting of wedding presents.

3.      No online honeymoon photos.

4.      No online photos of six blended children (his and hers).

5.      No online pregnancy photos.

6.      No online photos of day old babies (they might sue parents when they grow up).

7.      No posting of happy moments (Valentine’s Day, wedding anniversaries etc.).

8.      No posting of wife or husband abuse.

9.      No accusations of cheating on me.

10.  No online reaction to whatever Twitter, Face and Instagram say about your marriage.

Bad news. YouTube, Google, Instagram, FB and the whole fraternity is taking social media prenup attorneys to court, for unfair trade practices.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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