After The Divorce ......

After the divorce, we dabble in pursuits we held in contempt.

We used to be in the public eye because of our husbands. Now we are anonymous.

1. After the divorce, we cut the hair short and let nature take its course, go grey, like real grey with no rinse.

2. After the divorce we say: I’m Ellen.’ We don’t want to remember the conceited self that insisted on being addressed as Mrs. Percival-Wallis.

3. After the divorce, we cart the Cole Haan shoes, the Louboutins, Kate Spade handbags, cashmere coats, pearl earrings and gold watches to the Salvation Army. The pile includes $4,000 sunglasses we used, to hide our famous faces. We tried donating hats that look like Kate Middleton’s, but second hand stores like Value Village do not accept them. They say there’s no demand for them.

4. After the divorce, we wear long batik and ankara dresses. They are roomy to hide the extra weight. We stopped going to health clubs. We couldn’t stand the pity, from our ‘friends’ who are still married. Revulsion is even worse. Some avoided us like the plague, as if we’ll infect them with divorce-ness. Yes, it’s a new word.

5. After the divorce, we wear flat shoes like Converse sneakers, because we walk a lot and run after buses. Quite an education, because the bus and train schedule is right there in our phones. We never knew anything about public transport because all our houses had three-door garages.

6. After the divorce, we join protest marches to the legislative building to protest about air pollution, logging, the looming World War 3 and fur coats we used to wear.

Don’t get us wrong. The ex-husbands are not mean. We are okay financially. It’s only that we don’t want reminders of our past life, and clothes defined it.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

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