Lara Trump 81 States

Lara Trump and chickpeas.81?

 "Open 8 days a week.”

Are my eyes playing tricks on me? No, they are not, because this is the second time I’m seeing this banner at a particular steak house in town. The first time was in St. Vital, the second time was today, on my way to one of the factory outlets. I don’t go very often because sometimes their prices are higher than regular mall prices. Shhhh! Don’t tell a soul.

I digress. Where was I? Yes, 8 days a week. Thanks to Lara Trump, Donald Trump’s daughter-in-matrimony, now I realize that it’s not a typo on the banner. It’s intentional. It’s to ruffle some days of the week feathers. That way, this steakhouse is always bubbling mentally, and we know where to go when we feel like meaty delights.

Lara Trump is in the news. It is reported that she said the U.S. has 81 states. It is two things. It was slip of the tongue or a declaration of intent. I take issue with that slippage because we were taught History and Geography the hard way. We spoke Zulu at home, and English in school. We memorized a lot, because we didn’t have the command of the foreign language. We were also scared of the cane. Teachers were always walking up and the down the classroom bouncing it on their hands.

Miss Zuma: Class, how many states does America have?

Class: Fifty Miss.

Miss Zuma: How many?

Lara Trump: 81. America has 81 states Miss.

Miss Zuma: Who said that?

Class: Lara, Lara, Lara, Lara!

Twack! Twack! Miss Zuma canes her on the hand. On the other hand, the 81 states are more worrying because Lara Trump’s father-in-matrimony is a man who removes the im- from impossible. Who would have thought that an American, a former president for that matter, would attempt a coup on American soil, against American people? That was 6 January 2021. Therefore, the 81 states are a possibility, if Donald Trump wins.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

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