Through Thick and Thin

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We tend to think about marriage and its trials and tribulations, when the home space shrinks. It happened during the COVID-19 pandemic. Houses  that are relatively big shrunk, because family members that are not normally there, were present for almost a year, thanks to lock down.

Space also shrinks in winter, forcing us to be indoors most of the time. We live in apartment buildings and very small stand-alone houses owned by the bank. In winter, there are more boots, coats, toys, skates, sleighs and wagons lying around and that tests the phrase, through thick and thin.

That is the main reason why after the invention of the microwave oven, many couples decided to give marriage a test run by living together. They wanted to iron out the thickness and thinness before committing to the long distance race, which includes kids. Parents of every race and creed do not like it. Kids don’t care. They want to test the waters so that they don’t go through the same grief as their parents.

Assumptions first. I assume love is the thick. Situations like infidelity and financial irresponsibility are the thin. These two are pretty standard and can be detected early, leading to a break-up before marriage. Equally, they can be hidden, only to surface after the church wedding, cultural wedding or religious ceremony, but there are other ‘through thick and thin’ that cannot be foreseen. Where are those people that can ‘see into the future?’

Addiction to the secrets we keep in our phones is not a ‘thin’ in marriage anymore. It’s a fact of life we accommodate. The greatest through thick and thin is the one that completely changes a person into another human being, and I don’t mean reincarnation. It’s the transformation that drives a nurse to smoking, a person particular about her appearance to sloppiness, a person who loves his kids becomes ferocious and final exit from home. Separation, then divorce.

That’s why we hear sad stories of people who live together for five or more years, get married and divorce after a year. It means in life, there are thick and thin weeds that cannot be detected.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

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