Cellphone Counselling Before Marriage

It’s amazing how we kill each other because of ideology, religion and borders when we are the same. This day, this minute throughout the world, we are all doing the same thing, in seclusion away from people we live with, to ‘talk’ to our phones. His. Hers. It becomes a war if she touches his phone. Ringtone goes off like waves. Husband answers his phone. After the call she says: Who was that?

A marriage certificate does not give partners the right to question incoming calls, let alone touch someone’s phone and go through text messages and phone history.

I’ve seen many movies where couples go for counselling before they get married. Some churches insist on it, but do they have a module on cellphones? They should, because it can cause friction between the two.

I saw one movie where the wife smelt a rat because the husband changed his phone’s password. They used to know each other’s passwords. It was quite a unique arrangement. Sharing phone passwords? People living together don’t even share online banking information.

Who was that? It’s a question married couples used to ask when the home phone rang. It belonged to everyone under that roof. Calls were mostly home related because of joint responsibilities like doctors, teachers, cable, the boss, the city or grandparents.

Couples have these numbers on their phones now, but there is still a chunk that contains private calls. He doesn’t have to know. She doesn’t have to know. Trying to police partners’ phone calls and reading text messages leads to heart disease. You cannot get mad when your honey/darling/baby leaves the room, to answer calls.

You are married or living together, but the cellphone is off limits. It will always be private, like going to the bathroom to do your business.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger