Women Miss Men's Attention

I’m writing about it because I’ve seen some women asking men why they don’t stop them on the road and ‘greet’ them, like they used to. Men’s greetings are more than greetings. They are the foundation for other things, if women are willing.  

Men online replied that they no longer make passes at women because they are scared. They don’t want to be accused of harassment, be insulted till kingdom come or even assaulted. In a Nigerian movie, a man asked actress Mercy Johnson her number. He took out a phone smaller than a computer mouse. She hurled it back at him. He had the audacity to request her number with an outdated phone.

But there’s a reason how we got here, why we are more careful than our mothers and grandmothers. It was complimentary during their time. Passes made them smile, not intimidated. The Zulu language has many proverbs about appreciating women, but proverbs were crafted in ancient times, when people lived off the land, and social conduct particularly respect for women, was understood by everyone, even the wind.

In the U.S., some African American filmmakers included men’s approaches to women, as a harmless men’s thing. Not anymore. Back in the day, people knew each other. “That is the Pearson girl. Those are the Lineman boys.” The world is very complicated now. The English language changes overnight. Men don’t want to be called big negative words just because they said to a woman,’ How you doing?’

But it is no train smash. The fact that some women online are complaining that men don’t make passes at them anymore, is proof that they still love them. It’s a natural thing, bees visit flowers not tree branches. Men are adorable, sweet, innocent. Sorry, delete innocent. They can look at you as if you are the only woman in the world. You’re not. As long as we remember that. Cute, that’s what they are, but dangerous like a dormant volcano.

Man: Can I have your number?

Woman: I don’t have a phone.

The cellphone goes off in my pocket. The ringtone CHECK MY STATUS, CHECK MY STATUS by football YouTuber @Thaddboii, booms out.  What can I say?

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.