Pro Nouns By Force

Some NBA stars and indigenous men in Canada and U.S. braid their hair. 

It doesn't change their gender to them/they. 

Do I look like a man? No I don’t, believe me. It’s because of men. They tend to look at me. Strange creatures. You don’t know why they look, especially because I shave my head (it’s cheaper). Dulcie, the American stand-up comedian put it succinctly when the cashier man checked her out: “because I’m pretty.”

Is my voice thick? Maybe it is over the phone, because service providers sometimes say YES SIR. Gender is the reason why some strangers think I am a man. I am a woman. I didn’t have a choice, just like my brother did not have a choice in being male, but I like it. I like being me, which brings me to the English language.

I was colonized by the British and they told me I am a she. My brother is a he. Fine with me. It’s their language so they know best. I have no allegiance to the English language but I will not call a man them/they, even if they are wearing all the Bud Light make-up. What is amazing about the human body is that neighbors talk to each other. The eyes see. They send a text to the brain and it relays it to the mouth. That’s why I say, excuse me sir, or the accused says she assaulted me first. 

The LGB … alphabet will not force me to butcher English, a second language for me and most British Empire ‘subjects.’ We were caned in school. We were forced to learn a foreign language out of context. We sang the grammar, with teachers parading the aisle with the cane.

Mary is a girl. She likes singing.

Tim is a boy. He likes singing.

Cinderella is a girl. She has stepsisters.

Little Red Riding Hood. She went to visit her grandmother.

We sang the grammar. We sang poems. We sang everything. It was cancel culture because Zulu, Xhosa, Sesotho and all African languages were regarded as barbaric. Here we are in 2023, the LGB … alphabet is trying to cancel the cancellor (standard English). I refuse. What next? Boys will take mothers to court for defamation.

What is the charge?

My mother called me he, instead of them/they.

What is your mother?

My mother, of course.

Is she also a them/they?

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.