Baby Talk Envy

I’m using babies because ‘kids’ will be too wide for today’s blog. Let’s restrict it to non-paying passengers that travel in strollers, also known as prams in the land of the British king and queen.

Babies are cute. They give us joy. They think we are dumb because we make noises and funny faces instead of talking to them in Xhosa, Spanish, Dutch, Twi or any language spoken at home. I think the cuteness also comes from independence. That is why we envy them.

Babies slow down parents at the mall. They get out of their cars - strollers - and push them. They get tired, raise their little arms to be picked up. O.K. Have your fun. They take a mobile nap. They wake up, create a ruckus because they want to get off the stroller. They start walking, if you can call that walking. Parents are behind them and cannot believe how fast they are. Oh! No, they’re going to fall. Kind shoppers block them with their bodies. Parents bundle them up, kicking and screaming, back to prison.

We envy babies because they can opt out of their frustration. They don’t like strollers. We don’t like planes. They scream when they want to get off. I cannot do that: “Stop this plane. I want to get out.” It’s against aviation rules. I also don’t want to end up in a mental institution when the pilot does an emergency landing in Strasbourg.

We envy babies because they raise their arms when they are tired of pushing their strollers. Parents are there to pick them up. Adults don’t have that choice. We cannot say we are tired of our lives because there’s no going back. There’s nobody to pick us up, so we stay in bad marriages, bad jobs and bad neighborhoods. You made your bed, you lie on it, is that a proverb?

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.