Just Apologize They'll Forget About it

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OLD POST 11 OCTOBER 2022, ABOUT APOLOGY

Nury Martinez, has resigned as the LA City Council President. Reason? In October 2021, she called another councilman’s son a ‘little monkey.’

As expected she apologized. “I take responsibility for what I said and there are no excuses for those comments. I’m so sorry.”

Sign language has an advantage over us. I’m sorry is sorry, as transmitted by hands, the face and the whole body. With us, we need very very sorry, which leads me to the conclusion that sometimes, we are not sorry at all. It is just lip service.

Certain words are supposed to be total or self-evident, like sorry, love or tired. I guess there is no harm in using very very, to emphasize a point. Pastors do it every Sunday, but we don’t have to use it if the apology is sincere. The person who has been wronged should feel the words: I’m sorry.

It is suspicious when we say, I sincerely apologize. Sincerity is in-built in the word apologize. That is why the preamble ‘sincerely’ weakens the apology. Maybe the person doesn’t mean to apologize.

There are lots of apologies online. Just apologize and this will blow over. That is how handlers of politicians and celebrities advise them. Why an apology? It comes after being caught red-handed. There are things we do after dark that should remain after dark.

They do surface after a month, two years or 10 years. We offend people along the way not knowing that one day we’ll meet them. As the Zulu proverb goes: mountains never meet, people do.

Somebody apologizes. It only becomes an apology when it is heart-felt on the other side, not because we said I ‘sincerely’ apologize.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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