Love Birds

Love is in the air. It’s a song. Who sang it? I can’t remember. Before Hollywood and Valentine’s Day, people who love each other went about oblivious to their condition. Outsiders couldn’t miss it. Mothers and aunties put hands on their heads and warned the besotted girl to stay away from ‘trouble.’ Being pregnant.

Neighbours will look at the couple and shake their heads. The man’s friend will ask him: what do you give that girl?  It’s because she’s always following him around. It was a man’s world. It’s still a man’s world. Before cities, people lived off the land. Men crossed rivers and mountains to pursue a woman they wanted.

Tradition accepted it. Unlike girls who were to taught to cook, clean, be respectful and look after younger brothers and sisters, boys were free to roam. An absent son was no problem: he went to where his heart directs him, says the Zulu proverb.  A boy with a lot of girls was called isoka in Zulu. The village called him isoka lamanyala (a mess of a player). You couldn’t miss him. He had many beads around his neck because that’s how girls said YES. They gave boys necklaces.

Time passed. Having multiple women might lead to death. The killer sexual disease has altered obituary pages. It used to be local grandmothers and grandfathers. Now it is mostly young people under 30, including popular gospel singers and young pastors.

But that doesn’t stop the pressure of being ‘in love’ and getting a little something, something on Valentine’s Day. Some women buy themselves flowers and have them delivered to the office. We can’t blame them. There are 24 billion songs about love and still counting.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.