Reluctant Custody

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Weekend custody. Summer custody. Thanksgiving custody.


Man and woman meet. Someone says I love you, the Hollywood bait guaranteed to shedding of leaves. Pregnancy. They have a kid. Love wains, reality blossoms. Disagreement becomes regular. They part ways and child custody kicks in.

We are not good at custody and the world knows because we take kids to public places when we have them for the weekend. They try to talk to  parents only to be met with a blank stare. Worse still, we don’t hear them because we are glued to the phone. Kids withdraw because they feel it.

Kids find themselves in reverse roles, where they are the custodian of what went wrong between mom and dad. They are custodian of non-resolved money issues; dad’s or mom’s new relationship; reason for parents’ shouting matches; and punishment custody visits. Sometimes they feel that way. That they are being punished if they are sent to an off-shore parent.

Kids are like a sponge. They absorb things but we only know how much water is in there, when they are adults. Cat’s in the Cradle, the classic song by Harry Chapin sums it up pretty well.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

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