Egghead Followers Boiled Eggs

-

Eggs, tomatoes and rice salad.

I have so many egg followers, I cannot decide what kind of omelette to make: cheese, ham, spinach, salmon, asparagus, Russian sausage and all related sausages, rice, or just plain scrambled eggs.

I’m contemplating removing my online photo to keep up with the times. Social networking is dead because I don’t have to follow a real person. 

Egg-working is trending. This used to bother me so much, I was nearly arrested for staring at folks. Is that bus driver my recent egghead follower?  Maybe it is that pharmacist who ignored me for ten minutes at the pharmacy on Marion Road. 

How about the Tim Hortons' cashier on Broadway who showed me with a frown, the line for placing orders, when I was waiting at the paid and pick-up section with four other people? 

Is it that homeless guy who sleeps under the bridge, or the maitre d' of that posh restaurant, part of my egg-nation?  It cannot be the policeman in the police cruiser because I’m one of the people the police calls for back-up when they see them.

Google, Facebook, Twitter et al, is this legal?  The egg following I mean? 

ME:  The people have no photos.

ANSWER:  Let them use eggs.

I’m not Marie Antoinette, a Queen of France in 1789, who was told that the people have no bread.  "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche."  All history books translate that into: Let them eat cake. 

People have reasons for using eggs instead of photos. The husband might not have a no clue that his wife is an egg that takes part in Victoria Secrets’ blogs, and other underwear forums.  Maybe she comes from a culture where women are not allowed to say a word.

Eggheads might be managers of Fortune 500 companies that prohibit Twitter chit-chat. Worse still, they might be mean people who send rude comments online.

What is unfair is that eggheads like following people with human heads. The ideal situation would be comparing oranges with oranges. Let eggs follow other eggs. 

That way, we will have scrambled eggs period, not scrambled eggs pretending to be omelettes.

By: Nonqaba waka Msimang.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more