Steroids Oranges The 'Unboxing'

Steroids oranges? Yes, too humongous for my liking so they must be loaded with steroids.  I’ve been looking at them each time I enter the kitchen. I’m no Shakespeare, but ‘to unbox or not unbox them?’ That has been the question. Un-box? They are not in a box, like a shoe box. They are just oranges.

That's the point. The box is inside, steroids. That’s why they are so big. I’m saying ‘un-box’ to keep up with the kids. The internet has special language spoken 24/7 and I don’t know it because I have other things to do, to keep alive. Kids unbox things. They don’t open a box or unwrap things. They un-box them, as in @mkbhd, the tech falcon opening a box with a new camera, phone or computer.

In my case, cutting these strange oranges is unboxing. They have been lolling around for the past two weeks, because I was scared to cut them open. What will I find inside? Remember I was nearly arrested at the Vancouver airport for drug trafficking, the airport police interrogating me about the contents of these oranges (16 March 2024 post).

Well! It’s time to unbox them steroids. What’s inside? Should we wear goggles and helmets, in case something explodes during the ‘unboxing?’ Hell! You only live once, so I cut one of them. No juice. I was right. We think twice about eating real oranges, the little ones because of all that juice that sprints out. And, it’s difficult to wash it off a white dress or top. No juice in these humongous oranges, steroids probably sucked them dry. I cut a small piece and ate it. It was like chewing a sponge.

Going shopping tomorrow? Beware of the unnaturally big oranges. Stick to the tiny ones, so that you can cut them up and lick all that juice from your hands. Real juice, not steroids stimulated bath water.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger