Sons of Immigrant Parents

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“I have many sisters and aunts. That’s why I don’t know how to cook,” a graduate student confided in his female friends. 

Canada is not perfect, no country is, especially the ones we ran away from. It might look like immigrants only highlight the negative and not the positive aspect of living there. It’s not intentional. Bad things make headlines.

There are also good things, like teaching boys how to cook and clean so that they can be independent. Men who can take care of themselves are more likely to leave a bad relationship, than those that tolerate volcanic girlfriends because they provide dinner and brush the toilet bowl.

It is particularly difficult for boys born outside Canada because mothers, sisters, aunts and grandmothers cooked and cleaned. Maybe parents had live-in servants that go to the market or bazaar to buy food, come back, prepare it, serve it and wash dishes and pots. In some cases, it might be women remotely related to the family, but are treated like servants, because of culture or religion.

Teaching boys how to cook and clean at an early age arms them with skills like budgeting: the price of 2kg of rice as compared to 10kg, the price of summer fruit and vegetables out of season, buying ground beef because meat is very expensive in Canada and one-pot meals compared to mama’s 3-course meals. Boys learn how to use a vacuum cleaner, the price of laundry detergent, bathroom soap and toilet paper. This might seem inconsequential, but they become issues when boys live with girlfriends, or students sharing a rented house.

Self-sufficient boys grow up to be independent men, that choose women based on common interests and dreams, and not because they can cook for them and clean the bathtub.


Nonqaba waka Msimang

Blogger Without Borders

 

 

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