Identical Hotel Rooms

-

Airline playboy realizes all hotel rooms look the same after the birth of his daughter, in the timeless French film, Trois Hommes et un couffin. Hollywood and Bollywood made their own versions.

We drool over the rich and famous because of what they have: Size 2 clothes, immaculate make-up, Italian and German vehicles, apartments in New York City, houses in California and travel. Cameras follow them to LA, Toronto, Aspen, Milan, London, Tokyo and Accra Ghana.

Travel. What comes to mind? Flying business class obviously, land at an airport, clear customs and check into a hotel. It sounds glamorous to us, until they say: hotel rooms look the same. Just kidding. I don’t think they’ll ever admit that. Their agents won’t like it and movie producers will be mad as hell.

Hotel rooms look the same because of perfection. It’s something alien. The last time we saw a properly made bed, was when we lived at home because mama didn’t tolerate any foolishness of get-up-and-go, without making your bed.

Hotel beds are crafted not made. They remind us of the work of art we saw in furniture stores and the inevitable warning from parents: Don’t touch. We paid for the hotel room so we must sleep on the bed, but they are so intimidating, we even think of calling Front Desk so that they can send somebody to extricate the intricate bed.

How about the bathroom? Crowded like Yonge and Bloor subway station in Toronto. So pretty to look at, we are scared of putting our cloth cosmetic bags on the sink counter. The hair dryer on the wall chuckles at our confusion as we unravel the little bottles. The conditioner, shampoo and hand cream have the same texture. We don’t even need them because we brought a bar of Sunlight, which does everything, wash hair, face, body and the unmentionables.

You forgot something. What? These celebrities you are talking about sleep in suites, not ordinary hotel rooms. True true, but the bed is made the same, prim and proper like a shroud.

Nonqaba waka Msimang

Executive Blogger

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Elections And Political Bullies

-
Image
Forget democracy.   It should be called political bullying. We are watching it in the prelude to the Canadian election on the 19 th of October, 2015.   Americans have also started their political bullying for the looming presidential election next year. So many trees wasted on books about democracy.   Some countries have big budgets for invading other countries ‘ to defend democracy’ but it is seldom practised in campaigning for elections.   Calling opponents names and printing flyers attacking each other is behaviour that will not be tolerated in kindergarten, but it is all legal, in campaigning.   It is irritating and such a let-down to the whole notion of democracy.   Grown-up men and women behaving like Grade One kids. It is also misleading because many voters believe it is real hatred.   Don’t let that fool you.   These politicians play golf together, attend the same dinner parties, eat and drink at the same social events, share jokes and cut deals in parliament.   They
Read more

Comfort Food As Regret Food

-
Image
Chicken curry. Comfort food is good for the soul, which usually bleeds in winter from icy roads, bad drivers that want to annihilate pedestrians, frozen fingers and toes that take a sabbatical.   What happened to my toes?   I thought I was wearing special socks for boots? We therefore have a right to comfort food which throws doctors’ orders out of the window and has no loyalty to calories.   No calculator on the table, thanks very much.   Piece of bread 5 calories, half a banana 10 calories, sugar-free cheesecake 2,000 calories.   Ah! Ah!  We only live once. Naw!   Comfort food is old school food with its compulsory second helping.   It involves licking fingers and giving a big sigh, about the good life, which is shelter, food, love and debt.   The problem is the zip.   The jeans remind you that comfort food can also be called you will regret food .   Home sweet home is even sweeter in winter after surviving blowing snow and bumper to bumper traffic. What is more welcoming th
Read more

No Air Miles

-
Image
I don’t have Air Miles.   I’m considering putting that on a T-Shirt because I cannot go to the drugstore (chemist) or coffee shop without the cashier asking me if I have air miles. We waited for about two minutes the other day, while this guy looked for his Air Miles card in his overweight wallet.   For what?   For a few points. I don’t have air miles because Mathematics is a foreign language.   I was never good in numbers. That is why I squashed the idea of being an investment banker very early in life.   I understand you can invest in cornfields before the soil is turned up or pork bellies even before a baby pig is born. That is how I view air miles, investing in tomorrow or the unknown.   I’m the dumb one.   Some people understand this air miles’ thing so well, I overheard one customer saying: I can even convert my points into cash. Points and air miles are the same thing in Canada and the U.S.   Drugstores or clothing stores even give you a card to collect point
Read more